She Thinks Her Boyfriend Has No Direction In Life And Kind Of Wants To Break Up With Him, But Is Not Sure If The Reasoning Is Shallow
This twenty-five-year-old woman has been dating her boyfriend for three and a half years now. And she does really love him.
“He is a wonderfully sweet, emotionally intelligent, funny, and handsome guy. I love and care about him. If you were to ask me today if I wanted to break up with him, I would say no,” she said.
Nonetheless, she is getting ready to move across the country next year to start her career following graduate school.
So, her and her boyfriend’s differing paths in life have started to really worry her– more specifically, her boyfriend’s supposed lack of any direction at all– and she is not sure if he should go with her.
Apparently, the pair first met when he was going to community college in pursuit of a Digital Arts Associate’s degree and working a campus job on the side.
He has since finished school and still creates art for fun. But, his primary source of income is his job as a home shopper at their local grocery store. And according to her, the job is hell.
For example, the money is not great, and the department her boyfriend works in is always in total disarray. So, he is always stressed, overwhelmed, and quite miserable following every shift.
Nevertheless, she claims that she really would not care if her boyfriend wanted to continue working in a grocery store his entire life as long as it made him happy. But, since it doesn’t, she does not really want to be with someone who is always down about their work.
And she has tried to help him get out of this lousy employment situation by urging him to speak with his union and even seek out other positions. But, since he makes no effort, she is kind of done hearing him whine all the time.
GTeam – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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“I am honestly getting frustrated that he frequently complains about his job and then does nothing to address the root of the problem,” she explained.
“And I have noticed that this is a pattern– he will not work to fix his problems.”
For instance, her boyfriend currently lives with his mother, and they have a bunch of issues in their relationship.
Still, though, she has never seen her boyfriend try to work through his problems with his mother or prepare to move out.
So, since her boyfriend basically hates his job and his living situation, she always feels like she has to step in and try to relieve her boyfriend of some stress.
Like sometimes, she considers trying to search for other jobs for him or offering to move out and split the rent with him.
However, she also does not want to fall down a rabbit hole of constantly solving her boyfriend’s problems since she believes the relationship would become really unfair.
“I know I should not set that precedent of taking care of him. I don’t want this relationship to be unequal, and I want him to take care of his own life like I’ve taken care of mine,” she vented.
On top of all this, her parents are also not huge fans of her boyfriend. And even though this did not really bother her in the past, their disapproval has begun to get to her now.
However, she is not sure if her concerns are shallow. She recognizes that her boyfriend is an amazing guy who has never once asked her to take care of him. Plus, he is always there to emotionally support her.
Still, she just does not want to live with someone who is not proactive about fixing their problems. Moreover, even if he did promise to get his life together and move with her, she is not sure if she would want him to.
In fact, she revealed that she is kind of looking forward to starting fresh and moving in with roommates to who she has no emotional obligation.
So anyway, she is now completely lost about what to do in her relationship. She knows that breaking up with her boyfriend would completely devastate both him and herself since she still loves him very much.
Nonetheless, at this point, she is not sure if she is prepared to wait for him to change his ways and is not sure if breaking up with her boyfriend for that reason would be a really jerky thing to do.
Do you think people can grow at different paces and remain in a happy relationship? Do you believe her reasoning is shallow or not? If you were in her shoes, how would you handle this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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