Her Ex-Husband Just Found Out His New Wife Will Not Be Able To Have Biological Children And Now Wants Their Kids To Spend Christmas With Him, But She Told Her Ex That His Wife’s Feelings Are Not Her Or Her Children’s Problem
This woman and her ex-husband entered a relationship when they were quite young and ultimately had three children together– who are now fifteen, fourteen, and thirteen-years-old.
Soon after having the kids, though, she claims that her marriage just crashed and burned.
“We were young, unsuited to be together, and we both came from very restrictive households, which pushed us together out of a sense of clawing for freedom,” she explained.
Then, following the separation, she tried to date for a while before realizing that she simply liked being single. Her ex, on the other hand, got remarried just over a year after their divorce to a woman named Ani.
Now, she and Ani reportedly have a pretty complicated relationship. She claims that Ani does adore her children but was very jealous during the early days of dating her ex.
And she claims that her and her ex’s custody split is what made Ani most upset. Apparently, she got primary custody of the children; meanwhile, her ex got the kids every other weekend due to the nature of his job at the time.
Even though Ani wanted more time, she just did not think it was reasonable– mainly because her ex would not even be home when the kids were with their stepmother.
A judge ended up agreeing with her, too and stated that whenever the children’s father was not around, it made sense for the kids to be with her– their biological mother.
So, as you can imagine, that already ruffled Ani’s feathers. On top of that, though, the different levels of affection her children displayed also got under Ani’s skin.
iVazoUSky – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual kids
According to her, two out of her three kids were not very affectionate in general– with Ani or anyone else.
But, with her– their mother– they were more loving.
For whatever reason, though, Ani was convinced that she was trying to rub the affection in her face. Moreover, Ani even made comments about it on numerous occasions and accused her of purposefully trying to hurt Ani’s feelings.
So, for about three years or so, she and Ani had a really tense dynamic. She also claims that during that time, her ex was practically useless.
“I told him he should be doing better as my co-parent, but he told me his wife was more of the co-parent now,” she recalled.
Eventually, though, her ex did leave his old job, and a true fifty-fifty custody split began happening.
Once that new routine took hold, though, she was reportedly met with even more problems. The main one, however, was that Ani apparently began referring to herself as the children’s mother. And, of course, she hated that.
She claims that her kids actually only ever called Ani by her first name. And whenever Ani tried to take over the mom title, she knew that her children used to say Ani was not their mom.
But she does also admit to getting jealous at the time. Moreover, she believes that was exactly what Ani wanted to happen.
After a while, though, she was able to get her jealousy under control because her children’s best interests came first. Regardless, Ani claiming to be the kid’s “mom” still remained a touchy subject for her.
“It was always annoying when Ani had already gone out of her way to introduce herself to someone as their mom, and then there was confusion because they called me mom,” she added.
Still, over the last three years, the family tension has sort of calmed down. She and Ani are not close by any means, and she knows that they are not “all one big family.”
However, her kids are safe, cared for, and looked after– which is what matters to her most at the end of the day.
She also put her children into therapy from a very young age, which she believes helped them understand the family situation a lot better.
Just recently, though, she found out that Ani will, unfortunately, never be able to have biological children of her own.
Apparently, Ani and her ex had been trying for some time, and they suffered three miscarriages over the years.
Now, she is not certain about all of the details. However, she obviously understands that after they found out the news following a test last week, it was seriously depressing for Ani.
Afterward, though, her ex reportedly went to her and claimed that he wanted the kids to spend more time with him and Ani.
He also asked that the kids spend Christmas at his house this year, even though it is technically her turn per their custody agreement.
Additionally, her ex actually admitted to knowing that the children did not want to spend the holiday at his home.
Still, though, he urged her to just agree anyway due to Ani’s feelings following the news. He also believes having the kids around would help her feel better.
But to be frank, she straight-up told her ex no. And even after her ex tried to bring up Ani’s feelings again, she shut him down.
“I told him her feelings were not mine or our kids’ problem,” she said.
If you could not have guessed it, though, that was not the response her ex was expecting. So, he proceeded to call her every name in the book before claiming that Ani’s feelings do matter to the kids since Ani is their parent and their family, and everyone should have more empathy and compassion.
Anyway, now, with Christmas quickly approaching, she has been torn over what to do– adhere to what her kids want and what the custody agreement states, or give in to make Ani feel better during the holidays.
On top of that, she has also been left wondering whether telling her ex-husband that his wife’s feelings are not her or her children’s problem makes her a total jerk or not.
What do you think about Ani trying to get more custody time and calling herself “mom” over the years? Does it seem like Ani had the kids’ best interests at heart or not? Should the children be forced to spend Christmas with their stepmom just to make Ani feel better, even if they do not want to? If you were in her shoes, what would you decide to do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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