Figure Out Your “Why” And Fantasize About What You Want, Instead Of Dwelling On What You Don’t Have, In Order To Bring Your Dreams To Life

The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
We are always so consumed by what we don’t have.
Maybe you look on social media and feel utterly jealous after scrolling through tons of vacation photos from friends. Or, perhaps when you commute to work every morning, you curse at your car for having terrible gas mileage and heat that barely works in the winter.
Instead of focusing on everything your life is lacking, though, have you ever given more attention to what you really want? And more specifically, how you would feel if you got everything you wanted in life?
This swap in mindset may just sound like torture. Of course, you probably know that lounging on a tropical island would bring you calm, zen feelings. Or, if you got a new car, at least you would feel warm on chilly work mornings, right?
But contrary to what you might be thinking, the point of switching your thought process is not to make you resent your current situation even more. Rather it is to fuel your internal fire and bring your wants that much closer to fruition.
Think about it this way: what is going to come true? The thoughts we give more mental energy to, or the ones that we don’t? I rest my case!
On a more serious note, though, we have to stop focusing on the obstacles or challenges in our current day-to-day life.
Yes, it can be good to recognize what isn’t working for you or making you happy. And it can even be good to feel a bit uncomfortable– since this negative feeling will inspire you to make changes.

Krakenimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
However, we cannot get stuck in a disastrous cycle of thinking where we resent our circumstances but refuse to do anything about it.
This pitfall is actually very common and is often tied to inner feelings of unworthiness that developed during childhood. Many people do not feel like they are deserving or worthy of their biggest dreams and highest aspirations. So, they settle– and continue dwelling on the negatives every day.
But as soon as you begin giving more thought to your big dreams, big changes may happen.
Bring Your “Wants” To Life
Once you begin giving more attention to your “wants” as opposed to your “don’t haves,” new neuropathways will form. And as you continuously send brain signals (thoughts) down these pathways, they will become more familiar and dominant– beating out your older and more common negative thought processes.
As you start to change your day-to-day mindset, your subsequent behaviors and decisions will change, too. Rather than making choices based on your past beliefs, you might feel motivated to break the mold and make more conscious efforts based on your goals.
In the process, it is also essential that you prioritize wonder. You shouldn’t be working toward a goal if you don’t have any desire for it or if you just think that’s what you are “supposed to do.”
Instead, allow yourself to fantasize fully about your wants. What would it feel like to achieve your goals? How would your life change? Would you feel more at peace, content, fulfilled, and empowered? Any and all emotions are totally valid.
Finally, consider why you actually want what you want. This can be a tough question to answer– especially if you have had the same goals for years on end. After all of this time, they may just be in the back of your mind with an unclear origin.
Regardless of how difficult it can be, though, you have to get to the bottom of the “why.” What is the powerful reason behind why you want to move away, lose 20 pounds, buy a home, or start a business? Dig deep and work to get to the root of your own thought process.
Then, once you are aware of your why– and can visualize exactly how it would feel to achieve that purpose– you will be one step closer to bringing your goals to fruition.
The more that you revisit fantasies of your wants and how they would make you feel, the better your subconscious mind can become at making decisions in accordance with your dreams.
Your inner voice, too, can start to restructure its thinking patterns to help you stop feeling resentful or discontent and begin feeling inspired, motivated, and driven.
There is no doubt that achieving all of your wants is not as easy as just fantasizing about them. Of course, your goals will take dedication and hard work in order to really come to life.
But we fail to consider just how much of an impact our day-to-day thoughts have on this process. So by starting from within and reshaping our mindsets, we can take the first step toward proactively working toward our dreams.
A great daily exercise to kick off this habit is journaling. Whenever you have time, allocate ten minutes of your day to writing and daydreaming. Dedicate one page to each of your dreams or goals. Underneath, describe in detail exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you would feel if you got it.
Then, revisit these pages every day– particularly when you are having a tough moment and need a reminder of your purpose. This will help you remain clear-headed and motivated in the face of distracting life challenges.
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