Katharina Buczek
That way, the weight will be lifted off your shoulders, and you’ll have plenty of time to rehearse in the mirror. Doing a “brain dump” can also be a great way to get your ideas on paper without the pressure of structuring or organization. Simply grab a notebook, go to a quiet place in your home, and think about your relationship over the years. Write down whatever jumps out at you in a list.
Later, you can revisit this list for inspiration– using the ideas as launching pads for anecdotes and promises. When it comes to the actual writing process, refrain from trying to include everything. This will be impossible, and you will just get frustrated trying to make room for everything.
Instead, write up to three different drafts of your vows to see what can stay and what needs to go. Take breaks between these drafts and approach the versions with fresh eyes.
But, once you reach your third draft, try not to keep writing– because continuous revisions can just dampen your confidence and damage your authenticity.
On a similar note, watch out for the language you use during your vows. Avoid using words such as “never” and “always” at all costs. Nothing in life is absolute, and you will be setting completely unrealistic standards for yourself. So, promise unwavering effort– not perfection.
Finally, while many couples opt to include some humor in their vows, you also shouldn’t be afraid to be sentimental. Sure, being “cheesy” or “corny” might not be your forte. But at a wedding, nothing is ever too cheesy.
Rather, nuptials are actually the ideal place to bare your heart and true feelings– no matter how corny they might seem.
Throughout this writing process, you may turn to movies, songs, or books for inspiration. You can also consult loved ones to get their perspective and practice reading your vows out loud to gain confidence in your flow, pauses, and intonation.
And while the pressure to write “perfect” vows might be seriously stressful, remember to go easy on yourself. At the end of the day, your words are meant for your partner. And if you stay true to your relationship and share feelings that are authentically yours, I am positive they will feel touched by whatever you have to say.
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