Situationships Are Often Unhealthy And Not Worth Your Energy, And Here Are A Few Ways To Tell If You’ve Gotten Yourself Into One
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Caiti McGowan.
Situationship is a term that has become popular over the past couple of years and describes a certain type of dating relationship between two people. And while casual dating and dating with no labels is not always a bad thing, situationships have a bit of a negative connotation.
They can often be unhealthy and not worth the energy being put into them. It can also be pretty confusing to know what type of relationship you have with someone, so the following signs might indicate that you are in a situationship.
There Is No Defining The Relationship
One of the biggest themes you’ll see throughout this list is the lack of conversation about emotions. This includes the infamous “What are we?” conversation.
If you’re in a situationship, this question is likely not even going to be brought up. There is probably an underlying knowledge between you two that asking this will cause the conversation to get too deep and likely end the situationship right then and there.
Sometimes one or both parties will explicitly say that they are not looking for anything serious, so you know that this question is only bound to cause them to bounce.
There Are Last-Minute Plans
The plans you make with them are often spur of the moment and random. They might hit you up one evening to see if you want to go for a drive in ten minutes.
peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
While going with the flow can be fun sometimes, ask yourself if this is the only way you hang out with each other.
A lack of planning out future dates can imply that your relationship can fall off the deep end at any moment. Even looking a couple of weeks into the future, you might be unsure what your connection will look like by then.
Will one of you ghost the other? Will one of you have other plans that you’d prefer to do? If you’re seeing other people (another sign of a situationship), are you going to be sending time with them instead?
If you feel like it’s safer to consistently plan hangouts the day of, this could be a big sign that you are in a situationship.
Emotions Are Almost Never Discussed
Again, conversations about each other’s feelings on the relationship are severely lacking when you’re in a situationship. You and/or the other person want to keep things simple and not let any feelings get in the way or tie anyone down.
You may feel anxious about showing your feelings or expressing any needs towards them. While in a more serious relationship, it is important to talk to your partner about what you want and don’t want out of your connection with them, in a situationship, you almost feel like you can’t express these things because you can’t expect them to adopt these measures.
You may be thinking that because they are not officially your partner, you can’t expect them to give you what you need out of a partner.
The Relationship Is Not Growing
In a more traditional relationship, you are able to see the gradual growth of the two people learning more and more about each other and becoming closer each moment they spend time with each other. In a situationship, you often won’t see much growth within the connection.
This is because of the lack of deep conversation and sharing any emotion. There is no growth or development because everything is kept to a surface level, causing the connection to come to a standstill.
You may also feel like the connection is a secret you have to keep, even if it’s not stated explicitly. If there are no introductions to friends or family, and you only hang them out with each other in the dark hours of the night, there is clearly something one or both of you want to keep hidden about the connection.
If any or all of these signs sound familiar, it might be time to take a look at your connection and see if you are in a situationship. From there, determine if what you are gaining (if anything) out of the situationship is actually worth your time, energy, and your potential emotional distress. Only you can make that decision!
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