Here Are Some Tips For Ending A Friendship Maturely, If You Happen To Have A Toxic Friend Who Has Only Been Bringing You Down
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer.
Is there a friend of yours that you’ve realized you’ve only kept them around because you feel obligated to?
Friendships fading out is a normal part of life, although it may be sad. Sometimes, it happens naturally while you and that person grow apart. Other times, one person may have to take initiative and end things.
Of course, sometimes, our friends go through phases and need a little extra support or help while they work things out. But if you’ve been friends with someone toxic for a long time, that’s not good.
If you have a ‘friend’ who has only been bringing you down instead of up, taking up a lot of your energy and not looking out for you, the ball is in your court to end the vicious cycle. Here are some tips for maturely and gently ending a bad friendship.
Don’t Involve Other People
If this friend is someone you’ve hung out with in a group setting, you’ve most likely talked to a mutual friend about their behavior. But when it comes to ending a friendship, the conversation should only involve you and that one person.
Avoid creating extra drama or tension by inviting other people into the moment. A lot of the time, we feel as though we need ‘back up’ for these kinds of conversations, but it really should be left for you and your friend.
Plan Out What You Want To Say
Look! – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Ending a toxic friendship might not seem like a big deal to you, as you want the relationship to end. But to the friend you’re ending things with, it could seem like a lot. Therefore, you’ll want to avoid coming up with stuff on the spot and getting frazzled or distracted.
If you have to, write down the reasons why you need the friendship to be over and explain them in depth. Avoid putting all of the blame on that one person and think of statements that clearly describe why the friendship is no longer serving either side. This isn’t the sort of conversation you want to ‘wing.’
Let Them Express Themselves
While it’s important that you say what you need to say during your friendship breakup, you don’t want to cut off your friend’s voice completely. Unless you’re in a situation where this person causes you extreme stress and worry, hear out your friend. Perhaps something is going on with them you’re unaware of.
You don’t want to let someone guilt trip you or try and trick you into feeling bad for them, but you should also avoid making this a one-ended conversation.
Set Some Boundaries
Breakups, whether with friends or partners, require some boundaries. After all, the point of ending a relationship is to end it. If you think having your friend call you after trying to end things will only pull you back in, sternly tell them not to call you.
Setting boundaries will make this process much more clean and less complicated in the end.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Your former friend may try to make you feel like the worst person in the world after ending things, but you’re not, especially if you took the time to have a conversation with your friend instead of ghosting or blocking them.
Protecting your peace and mental health is nothing to ever feel guilty about. Everyone will move on in their own time.
Experiencing a friendship breakup is tough on everybody, so don’t be afraid to take a few days to prioritize grieving and healing afterward. You got this.
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