He Gave His Wife An Ultimatum And Said That If She Doesn’t Start Improving Soon, He’s Divorcing Her
This 35-year-old man and his wife, 37, have been married for seven years, and they dated for three years before their wedding.
He and his wife have a 5-year-old daughter together.
“On the outside, our marriage appears to be perfect. She and I own a nice house with a good school district, have a great kid, and both work full-time, ” he said.
His wife travels a lot for her job, and she has to commute to the office three days out of the week.
On the other hand, he doesn’t make a lot of money, but he’s conveniently able to work from home. This gives him the flexibility to drive his daughter to soccer practice and her doctor’s appointments, and he also has time to clean the house throughout the workweek.
He clarified that the issues between him and his wife don’t pertain to either of them gaining weight over time, and both he and his wife work out regularly.
“For the past four years or so, my wife has shown basically no interest in our marriage and acts more like my roommate than my partner,” he explained.
There is no intimacy within their relationship or even any physical displays of affection. His wife doesn’t seem to want to hold his hand, kiss him, or snuggle together. She always has a way of making it clear that she doesn’t want any of these things, and it’s a drastic difference from the way they used to be.
Sadly, his wife also doesn’t pay any attention to his life at all. In the past, she hadn’t remembered their anniversary or even his birthday.
pololia – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person or dog
Prior to celebrating their most recent anniversary, they had planned to go out to dinner together, but his wife told him she couldn’t go anymore because she would be working late on a Friday and then traveling for her job that next week.
He currently goes to therapy, and he discussed these issues with his therapist, who recommended he and his wife attend couples therapy together and offered to help them find the right therapist to see.
When he mentioned this idea to his wife, she rejected it right away and said, “‘There’s nothing wrong with me; I don’t need therapy.'”
To try to bring them closer as a couple, he’s thrown out a lot of ideas, and his wife hasn’t agreed to any of them. In response to taking a trip as a family, she said that their daughter would be too young to truly enjoy and remember it. He didn’t agree because, in his view, most kids would love going to the beach.
Then, he suggested that he and her go on a romantic vacation together, but she said she didn’t have time due to her job. She also asked why they couldn’t hang out with each other at their house instead.
Unfortunately, his wife even rejected the idea of going with their daughter to ride her bike and then grabbing lunch during the weekend, claiming that she wanted to rest.
“So, I gave up trying to initiate anything with her and recently began looking for an out. I watched my parents in a failing marriage for a decade and didn’t want to put my child through that,” he shared.
Recently, he met with a lawyer, and they drew up the divorce filing paperwork. He plans to purchase a condo in the same town they currently live in so that their daughter will be able to remain in the same school district she’s currently enrolled in, and that way, they won’t have to take her away from the friends she’s already made. He knows that he wouldn’t be able to keep the house they own right now because he wouldn’t be able to afford to live there alone.
Later, while their daughter was playing at a friend’s house, he told his wife about what he had been thinking in regard to their marriage. He said that he was debating on divorcing her because it feels like she doesn’t care about him and doesn’t value their relationship or want to put in any effort or energy.
He continued, telling her that he already has an idea of what he’ll do if he chooses to file for divorce.
Then, he said if she didn’t start improving by the start of the new year, he would divorce her, as well as ask for full custody of their daughter.
Understandably, this led to a huge argument. His wife called him “manipulative” and a jerk for, in her view, “blindsiding” her. In response, he said that he wouldn’t have done any of this if she had paid any attention at all to their marriage or at least feigned an interest in it.
Toward the end of the fight with his wife, he told her that he didn’t want their daughter to get older and start to understand how unstable their marriage is.
At this point, he doesn’t have much hope that their relationship will turn around. Over the years, he’s had conversations with his wife about how he wants to work on things. After these talks, their marriage would get better, but then, a couple of weeks later, it would go right back to the way it was before.
What would you do if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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