His Fiancée Stopped Reminding Him About Birthdays And Events For His His Loved Ones, And He’s Upset About It
This 27-year-old man and his fiancée, 26, have been in a relationship for two and a half years.
A year prior, he and his fiancée moved in together, and this year, he proposed.
“This started when my brother chewed me out for forgetting our mom’s birthday. He was angry I didn’t get her anything or acknowledge it at all. My fiancée had not reminded me, and I forgot. I did my best to make it up to my mom, and I figured my fiancée was just busy, and she forgot,” he said.
However, he noticed that there have been other occasions when she hasn’t reminded him of upcoming events with his family.
“My cousin got married recently. I know my fiancée was aware of the wedding because she talked about it, but I got a frantic call from my aunt wondering why we had not returned the RSVP and if we were even coming,” he explained.
On the phone call, he assured his aunt that he and his fiancée would be attending the wedding. But since he’d forgotten to return the RSVP and buy a gift on his own or from the wedding registry, he and his wife showed up to the wedding without a gift.
So, this situation caused some drama with his family. Because his fiancée hadn’t reminded him about both RSVPing and buying a wedding gift, he did neither on his own.
Evidently, he also hadn’t bought a gift for his sister’s baby shower barbeque that she’d invited him and his fiancée to, and his sister was hurt by this.
After these situations, he was confused because he’d grown accustomed to his fiancée reminding him about all his family’s upcoming birthdays and special events ahead of time.
ketrin – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He noticed that his fiancée remembered her mother’s birthday, and she made sure to bring a gift to her aunt’s wedding that they attended two weeks after his cousin’s wedding.
“I tried talking to her about it, but all she said is that it isn’t her responsibility to remind me about milestones or buying gifts for my own family,” he continued.
“I pointed out that she has always reminded me and made sure we had an appropriate gift, but all she said is that she was tired of me never doing it or helping her with it.”
In his view, people in a relationship should assist their partners when needed. He added that each person in the relationship is good at different things.
He feels like he doesn’t remember things as well as his fiancée, and apparently, he doesn’t feel confident in following social norms or what’s appropriate in social situations.
He gave the example of not knowing that he was expected to buy a gift for his friend’s wedding when he was in the wedding party. He pointed out that his fiancée “knows stuff like that.”
Also, his fiancée works as a mechanic, so she is the one who handles the maintenance of their cars. While his fiancée has her own strengths, he believes that he has his own that he brings to the table. In a relationship, he thinks that they need to both contribute equally and help one another with things they each struggle with.
Now, he’s hurt that she stopped reminding him about important upcoming events and dates, more so without letting him know that she was planning to do so.
He thinks that since they showed up to family gatherings and weddings without gifts multiple times, this makes them “look bad.” Plus, his family members have been upset when they didn’t receive gifts or their special days were forgotten.
While discussing the issue, his fiancée asked him if his previous girlfriends were expected to remind him of his own family’s birthdays and events and buy gifts instead of him doing it. He didn’t answer her and told her he didn’t think his past relationships were relevant.
Then, his fiancée said that he should take ownership of remembering his family’s important events and buying gifts because he’s an adult.
After their disagreement, he thinks that she shouldn’t have been angry with him, and he even went as far as to state that he doesn’t think she’s being a good partner. He feels like her behavior has been “selfish.”
Do you think he’s wrong to be upset that his fiancée stopped reminding him about his family’s upcoming birthdays and weddings?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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