She Doesn’t Want To Have Kids Because She’s Nervous That Her Husband’s OCD Will Prevent Him From Sharing Childcare Responsibilities, But She Isn’t Sure How To Tell Him That
This 28-year-old woman is married, and she loves her husband very much. He is 33 years old, and she believes that he is a great man who treats everyone he cares about wonderfully.
“Yes, we’ve had issues, but we’re very big into communicating them and can come to a solution quite quickly,” she noted.
However, there is one main thing that is preventing her from wanting to have kids with her husband: they both have been diagnosed with OCD.
Her husband’s triggers are filth and germs; meanwhile, hers are more organization and wanting everything to be in the right place. In other words, she basically strives for perfection.
With that being said, she and her husband disagree on many things in their home.
For instance, she doesn’t care about pet hair and actually used to always allow her animals to sleep with her and go on furniture before she moved in with her husband. But then, after they began living together, that stopped.
She also doesn’t care about there being crumbs on the counter or other “dirty” things; meanwhile, her husband doesn’t care about his belongings being disorganized, as long as they are clean.
Anyway, her husband recently brought up the idea of having kids in the future and started talking about what extracurricular activities they might sign up for. And afterward, she realized that while she used to want kids, she is now leaning against it.
“If it happens, I’ll be delighted and love them unconditionally, but I think I would prefer not having them,” she admitted.
Pixel-Shot – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
That’s because her husband has made various comments about how he wouldn’t be able to deal with spit-up or change diapers due to his OCD. In other words, she would be forced to do it by herself.
And she really doesn’t agree with that at all since she believes that parenthood is an “all hands on deck” situation.
On top of that, she is worried that if she needs to go out by herself and leave their hypothetical baby with her husband, he will not want to change or feed their kid while she is gone. Or get up every night to care for the baby.
Finally, she’s worried about what would happen if her baby had a “blowout” in their diaper or just spit up on the bed or couch.
After all, her husband already doesn’t allow their animals on the furniture, and she doesn’t want to get left cleaning up and caring for their baby alone.
“I don’t blame him for not wanting to because of his OCD, but I am scared,” she said.
She and her husband also operate on very different sleep schedules. While she needs at least nine hours of sleep each night and takes one to two-hour naps at least three times a week, her husband can only sleep for about five hours each night.
That’s why he goes to bed around 3:00 a.m. and wakes up at 8:00 a.m. every morning.
She knows that their schedules will obviously change once they have kids.
“But to lose that much sleep to do everything while he can’t because of the OCD is giving me major anxiety,” she vented.
“We both love each other very much, but I feel like I’d basically be a single parent doing everything for the first few years, if not more if we have kids.”
So now, she’s not sure if she should tell her husband that he’s the reason why she doesn’t want kids and if that would make her a major jerk or not.
Can you understand why the division of childcare responsibilities is making her nervous? How can she express her concerns to her husband without hurting his feelings? Should she just be honest? What would you do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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