Her Daughter Started Crying Alone In A Hotel Room After Her Aunt Shamed Her For Being Successful
When a young woman works hard, earns her own money, and chooses to spend it on things she values, is it really flaunting, or is it just independence in action?
For this mom, watching her daughter thrive has been a source of pride, not something she expected to apologize for.
But after a family trip took a turn and her daughter was shamed for buying herself a new laptop and a few gifts, she’s left questioning everything. Is her daughter being unfairly judged for her success, or should she tone it down to make others more comfortable?
It’s a tricky line between celebrating someone’s wins and worrying they might be stepping on toes, especially when family and finances are involved.
This 50-year-old woman and her 48-year-old husband have a 21-year-old daughter named Danica. Danica has always been quite an independent young woman, and she started her first job at 15.
Danica is currently in college, but she has a part-time position at an enormous company, so it’s easy to see why she and her husband are super proud of their daughter.
Danica has worked her heart out, and she and her husband give her financial freedom because of that.
“We generally allow her to manage her own finances, and she insists on contributing monthly to family expenses with the money she earns,” she explained.
“Danica occasionally likes to make pricier purchases, which I do not have any concern over, as I think they are sensible financial choices.”
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“Like last year, she decided to purchase the newest MacBook as her old laptop was on its last leg, and she wanted something reliable and long-lasting, or when she bought a Marc Jacobs bag for work and university.”
Not so long ago, she, her husband, and Danica took a family vacation with her brother and his whole family. Her brother has two kids, 23-year-old Nick and 20-year-old Tammy, who came along too.
Her brother’s kids and Danica aren’t the closest, but they do get on fine. In contrast to Danica, Tammy and Nick don’t have jobs and rely on her brother for money.
Anyway, on the trip, Danica generously paid for food and drinks for herself and her cousins. They did go shopping one day, and Danica purchased some things for herself and gifts to bring home to her friends.
“During dinner that night, my sister-in-law (brother’s wife) told my husband and me that we were spoiling Danica too much with her purchases,” she said.
“We explained that Danica earned her own money, and every cent came from her job. Sister-in-law then proceeded to point and tell Danica that if that was the case, she shouldn’t be flaunting her purchases and items in front of her cousins, who don’t have a ‘cushy little office job’ and parents who ‘spoiled her into the person she is.'”
“Danica apologised politely, saying that she didn’t mean to flaunt her things, but I could tell that she was upset and embarrassed. My husband stood up and shot back, saying that Danica shouldn’t have to apologise for her own hard work. I also pointed out that Danica has been financially independent since she was 15 and that we’ve always done our best not to spoil her.”
Her sister-in-law said they’re only teaching Danica to be a spoiled brat. Danica got up from her seat and went to the bathroom.
But then Danica texted her that she was heading to the hotel and leaving the restaurant. The remainder of the night was awkward, and when she and her husband returned to the hotel, they found Danica in tears.
She phoned her brother, expecting him to speak to his wife about how cruel and untruthful she was, but her brother replied that Tammy had been sobbing for days over not having the nice things Danica could buy.
“She had been whining to her mum that she wanted the newest MacBook, as well, but she refused to get it for her,” she continued.
“Myself, Danica, and my Husband have been getting calls from the rest of the family, some calling us [jerks] and some who were willing to hear us out and understand where we were coming from.”
Do you think she was wrong for letting Danica flaunt her nice things?
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