He’s Getting Married In Four Weeks, But His Fiancée Just Said She Doesn’t Ever Want Children, So He’s Not Sure If He Should Call Off The Wedding
This 37-year-old man has a fiancée the same age as him, and they are getting married in four weeks.
They have been together for three years in total, and he says that everything between them has been going great so far.
He thinks his fiancée is a wonderful woman, and he likes that she’s sweet, smart, educated, and has an excellent sense of humor.
Any time his fiancée says something, he finds himself hanging on her every word.
“She is generally an independent person, but not in the sense of a tough businesswoman, more like a regular woman who knows how to handle herself and isn’t overwhelmed by things like moving,” he explained.
“Paradoxically, she has a low tolerance for problems and gives up quickly if things can’t be resolved immediately. She tends to take the easiest path, even if it might put her in a worse position in the long run.”
And he knows that his fiancée wants stability, security, a routine, and a stress-free life, especially when it concerns money since she grew up in a very financially unstable way.
Back when he and his fiancée were still in their honeymoon stage, she told him she did want to have kids one day, and that was something that he has always wanted too.
But, after the pandemic and a few other major events that went down, his fiancée then said she wasn’t entirely sure about having kids, citing the world is becoming messed up.
satura_ – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Add all that to him not qualifying for parental leave benefits due to being high earners, and that has made his fiancée increasingly anxious about having kids at all.
Although they have money in the bank and don’t need parental leave benefits, his fiancée is still worried since she’s concerned about inflation and the rising costs of everything.
“She spirals into irrational fear, thinking children are expensive, troublesome, and what if they face problems at school or even worse in the future,” he said.
“She believes we won’t even get a spot in daycare. There’s war, what if one of us becomes unemployed or falls ill… and so on.”
“In short, for her, having a child has become an unbearable source of insecurity. She told me yesterday that she doesn’t want children.”
If he sets aside the financial implications of having children, he can’t exactly argue with how she feels about kids.
However, this does not change his desire to be a dad and the fact that he really, really wants to have kids of his own.
With their wedding just four weeks away, he has no clue what to do or if this means he has no choice but to call off their wedding.
He knows canceling their big day is an option, but that his fiancée won’t want to stay with him after that, and it will spell the death of their relationship since she really has a desire to be married.
He is aware that he can follow through with marrying her and get an incredibly strict prenup, but that still defeats the purpose because he wants kids, and she doesn’t want them.
His third option would be to just separate and see how that goes.
But none of those seem like great options to him, and he does love her a lot. What do you think he should do? Is his marriage doomed to fail since they’re not on the same page about kids?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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