Wedding season is in full swing, which means there’s no shortage of bridezillas out and about. But how would you feel if your best friend removed you from a special spot in their wedding party just ten minutes before the ceremony started, and without warning?
Three months ago, this 30-year-old woman’s best friend, who is the same age as her, asked if she could be her Maid of Honor. Her best friend slapped her wedding together super last-minute, so things moved at a breakneck pace.
Initially, everything was fine despite the speed, and she participated in the planning process. But out of nowhere, her best friend’s sister grew to resent her, and although several people confronted this girl, she wouldn’t divulge what her problem was.
She actually texted her best friend’s sister directly and got ignored. Everyone suspected her best friend’s sister was simply envious of the bond she had with her best friend.
“Then came the bachelorette party. Scheduling it was difficult because the bride had a busy calendar. The only date that worked required me to miss an important family event, but I felt attending the bachelorette party was part of my responsibility as MOH,” she explained.
“I planned it, paid for accessories/the bride’s dinner, and went anyway because, again, I believed those were responsibilities that came with the role.”
“After the bach party, I noticed I was being included less, and something felt off. I directly expressed my concerns and asked whether everything was okay and whether I was still the MOH. I was assured that nothing had changed.”
She was informed that there wasn’t much left to do with the planning, even though her best friend’s mom said her best friend was so stressed out about organizing everything, so she thought she was being pushed away to avoid making her best friend’s sister more upset.
Then came the actual wedding day. Her best friend and all of the bridesmaids essentially pretended she wasn’t there. She got to the venue early to assist with setting up.
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As all the girls got ready in the bridal suite, she was left alone to help the wedding planner and get the decorations together. She thought she was being a good Maid of Honor.
Ten minutes prior to the ceremony starting, as people panicked about the wedding party’s order since there hadn’t been a rehearsal, her best friend’s mom said she was no longer going to be the Maid of Honor!
“Instead, her other sister had been given that role. The explanation I was given was that her dress was shorter than everyone else’s, and it would look better for her to stand next to the bride,” she added.
“The problem is that they had known about her dress for over a month, and this had never once been mentioned. I was then told that I would be walking second in the procession.”
“I believe this decision was made to avoid upsetting her sister, but it came at the expense of my feelings. During photos, both sisters also made sure I was not standing next to the bride, meaning that in no picture do I appear to be the MOH in any way.”
She stayed silent, not wanting to cause a scene at the wedding, but she was deeply hurt by her best friend’s decision to remove her from her cherished position just ten minutes before the festivities started.
She smiled in all of the photos, still participated, and went to the reception that followed. But she had to leave early, because she was sobbing uncontrollably.
She’s still so sad about how her best friend handled everything. If her best friend truly wanted to bestow the Maid of Honor role upon her other sister, she wouldn’t have put up a fight about it.
“What hurts is that I asked whether anything had changed and was told that it had not. At no point did my best friend have an honest conversation with me or give me the respect of informing me that my role had effectively changed,” she continued.
“Even if this decision was made at the last minute, being told in front of everyone moments before the ceremony was humiliating. I invested time, money, effort, and emotional energy into fulfilling what I believed were MOH responsibilities, only to find out at the last possible moment that the title and position had effectively been given to someone else.”
“I feel as though my kindness was taken advantage of. I was allowed to continue investing myself emotionally, financially, and physically into the wedding while important information was withheld from me. As a result, I feel deeply betrayed, disrespected, and misled.”
She spent a little less than $1,000 on her best friend’s wedding, including the cost of her dress and wedding present, and the bachelorette party.
It makes it even worse that she spent so much on someone who disrespected her, but it’s not about the money; it’s about how her best friend acted.
She hasn’t yet spoken to her best friend, as she’s still on her honeymoon, but she’s not even sure it’s a good idea for her to confront her.
There is a piece of her that thinks a chat is warranted, but it has also crossed her mind to cut her best friend out of her life and end their friendship.
I think her friendship isn’t worth it anymore after how rude her best friend was. This is just not someone she needs to have in her life.
What do you think she should do?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
