She Accidentally Overslept And Missed A Halloween Parade For Her Boyfriend’s Son, And Her Boyfriend Has Been Giving Her The Cold Shoulder Ever Since
This woman works the third shift, and she gets done with work at 7 a.m. during the week.
On the other hand, her boyfriend, 34, works during the daytime, and he usually gets home at around 8 p.m.
She and her boyfriend both have to drive 45 minutes to get to work and since she works all night, she’s exhausted all the time.
Obviously, it’s difficult for her to be on the opposite schedule from basically everyone else, and it’s tough on her body to be awake when she should be sleeping.
Plus, she struggles to sleep for seven hours during the day after work without tossing and turning. Since she doesn’t have blackout curtains, it makes sleeping even tougher.
Her boyfriend is aware of how tired she is and how difficult it is for her to get a good sleep.
This past Friday, her boyfriend’s 6-year-old son participated in a Halloween parade for his school, which was a half hour away from her and her boyfriend’s house.
Most of the time, her boyfriend’s son lives with his mother, and his son stays with her and her boyfriend every other weekend.
“Before the Halloween parade, I have had a Halloween party planned for a month. I’ve told my boyfriend everything I needed to get done and my plans for what days I’m going to get them done. Normal things, such as cooking/baking and cleaning, as well as getting our new furniture assembled. Things we both knew my boyfriend wouldn’t help me do,” she said.
Rawpixel.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual children
Unfortunately, a friend of hers texted her the Sunday prior to the party to ask if she was able to assist her with moving during that week.
She agreed to help her friend, meaning that she would now have less time to prepare for the party, so she felt regret for saying yes in the first place.
Once she realized that she had made a mistake in agreeing to her friend’s request for help, she vented to her boyfriend about it, and he echoed her concern that now she was going to be overwhelmed trying to get everything ready in time for her party.
“Then, the day before his son’s Halloween parade, my boyfriend invited me to go. The parade starts at 8:30 a.m., which means by the time I get home after a 10-hour graveyard shift, I’ll have just enough time to change and go to the parade,” she explained.
Because she knew she’d still have to prep for her party, she predicted that she’d need to squeeze in a nap before going to the parade.
So, she submitted a request at work to end her shift an hour earlier, and her request was approved.
When she informed her boyfriend that she was able to finish her shift an hour earlier than usual, he said that was perfect because it meant that they had time to hook up.
“Not wanting to reject him, I said sure. I get home, exhausted, tell myself I need at least 20 minutes, and get in bed. He tries to hook up immediately, and I tell him I just need a nap. I end up sleeping 45 minutes instead of 20 and wake up to him getting dressed and leaving without me. I feel terrible. All weekend, he gives me the cold shoulder until he finally admits he’s disappointed in the times I’ve missed his son’s activities that have taken place during my graveyard shifts,” she shared.
Her boyfriend continued, telling her it’s not great when he excitedly informs his friends ahead of time that she’ll be at events, and instead, she doesn’t show up because she overslept.
Before these events, she usually tells her boyfriend that she’ll do her best to be there and that she would love to come.
However, she never thought it mattered much to her boyfriend’s son whether or not she showed up to events since she was not his mother.
In her view, her interpretation was accurate because it doesn’t seem like his son has an opinion one way or the other.
But it matters to her boyfriend that she doesn’t come to his son’s events, and she didn’t learn this until she overslept before his son’s Halloween parade.
If he’d made that clear to her earlier, she would have prioritized the parade more, being more careful not to sleep past the parade. Or, she would have planned ahead and switched her schedule around so that it would have been easier for her to avoid oversleeping altogether.
Upon reflection, she wonders if she was wrong for constantly missing her boyfriend’s son’s events that she was invited to, not realizing how important it was for her boyfriend that she show up.
In her view, she just assumed that it mattered more if the parents were at these events, so she didn’t think it was a big deal that she didn’t go.
On the weekends that her boyfriend’s children are at their house, she always makes sure to spend tons of time with them. She doesn’t even get together with her friends on weekends when her boyfriend has custody of his children so that she can hang out with her boyfriend’s children as much as she can.
She wonders what the expectations are for those who have partners with children and if it’s reasonable to step into the role of a parent and show up to all events that a parent normally would.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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