She Was Diagnosed With Cancer Last Year And Is Now Considering Divorcing Her Husband To Live The Life She Wants Instead Of Always Compromising For Him
This 35-year-old woman and her husband, 36, have been married for the last eight years, and they have been together for 11 years in total.
They also have two children, who are 6 and 8.
Tragically, she received a cancer diagnosis last year.
Though her cancer treatment was understandably grueling and intense, she made it through, and things seem to be going okay right now as far as her cancer is concerned.
Unfortunately, her marriage hasn’t been going well over the last five years.
“I have been trying to fit in what my husband sees as ideal life, living in remote locations and adjusting my life to make it work for us as a family. His dream is to live by the ocean, far from people. I’m a city girl. For the sake of making it work for both of us, I’ve taken jobs that are well below my abilities,” she said.
Even though this isn’t the life she envisioned for herself, her husband was under the false assumption that this was what she wanted, too. However, she felt like it was at the time because she was trying to compromise with him to get to the best possible solution for the entire family.
Her husband was living the life he’d always dreamed about, but she became more bitter as time went on.
“Things blew up two times. He saw me flirting with another guy (I never even kissed anyone, but it was an emotional betrayal, probably). I gave up alcohol three years ago to make sure I’m always in control and don’t do stupid stuff that could ruin my relationship,” she explained.
Rido – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Her husband is a wonderful father, and she never had a father like him. He adores their children and has a close bond with them, and so does she.
However, she doesn’t think he’s a great husband.
“He asks me every day about my day but never really listens to what I say. He keeps talking about his work but doesn’t notice me. He makes a lot more than me (seven to 10 times) but insists we pay everything 50/50 ‘to keep it fair,'” she shared.
Over the last several years, she’s been paying more of their expenses than her husband has. Plus, she worked full-time hours throughout her cancer treatment. Her husband never offered to pitch in to help pay for any extra expenses that came up.
According to her husband, since she paid less of the expenses during her pregnancies and after having their children, he thinks it’s reasonable that she now contributes more.
Sadly, she doesn’t feel like she bonds with her husband at all on an emotional level.
Plus, she doesn’t ever want to be intimate with him. She has been physically harmed in the past, and she needs to connect with someone emotionally in order to feel comfortable with intimacy.
However, throughout the last five years, her husband only touches her when he wants to be intimate. She was intimate with him numerous times, even when she didn’t really feel like it, and she would sob afterward because she went against what she knew she wanted. But she felt like since her husband wanted intimacy and she was his wife, she had to participate in intimacy.
For about eight months, she has been debating on filing for divorce.
She currently isn’t in cancer treatment, but she has no idea how long she’ll remain physically healthy.
She’s sick of compromising on what she wants just to make her husband happy.
While she believes that her husband is a good person, and they are going to begin therapy soon, she wants a new life entirely. In her view, therapy seems like too much trouble when she doesn’t think she wants to stay married to her husband in the first place.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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