She And Her Husband Just Bought A House, But Her Mother-In-Law Took The Master Bedroom, And Now She Doesn’t Even Want To Go Home Anymore
Not long ago, this 26-year-old woman and her husband, also 26, got married, and a couple of weeks ago, they bought a house.
She and her husband have been in a relationship for a long time prior to their marriage, and they are very emotionally attached to one another.
Through the years, they’ve always been supportive of each other’s life decisions, and they’ve always been there for one another along the way.
Unfortunately, since the move, she and her husband have butted heads over a situation that doesn’t feel like it can be resolved.
For three years, she and her husband lived in a trailer. Then, her mother-in-law asked if she could come live with them.
During this time, her husband’s mother was living with one of his brothers, but his brother was planning to move in with his fiancée and stepchildren.
So, her mother-in-law needed to find somewhere else to live. Without giving it a second thought, she was enthusiastically in favor of her mother-in-law moving in with them, and she had to convince her husband to agree to the idea.
From her perspective, if her mother had been the one who needed somewhere to live, she, of course, would have agreed to let her stay with them at the drop of a hat.
Her husband’s mother moved into their trailer with them, and it was nice to have his mother with them.
LUGOSTOCK – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
One of the bathrooms was next door to her mother-in-law’s bedroom, and because it was only the three of them living there, this bathroom became the one that only her mother-in-law used.
This wasn’t an issue because she and her husband had a bathroom in their bedroom that they used.
At first, her husband’s mother bought the groceries for all of them, and they didn’t ask her to pay any other expenses or rent. They were glad that they could support her and provide shelter for her when she needed it.
As this living situation continued, her mother-in-law began asking for her and her husband to contribute to her own expenses, and she didn’t think it was fair, considering the fact that her husband’s mother wasn’t paying rent.
She pointed out that she and her husband never wanted anything in return for her mother-in-law, adding that they were allowing her to live with them because they cared about her well-being.
“My mother-in-law doesn’t work and won’t work. I’m not sure as to the reason why, but it appears that she has always been that way,” she said.
Eventually, her mother-in-law started to ask her husband if he could help her pay for her cat’s food and litter.
She and her husband have two cats of their own, and apparently, their cats had started eating her mother-in-law’s cat’s food and using her cat’s litter box.
When she learned about this, she purchased a huge bag of cat food for all three of the cats to share.
But when her mother-in-law saw the new cat food, she said that she only fed her cat a particular brand of both cat food and only used one kind of litter.
Her mother-in-law didn’t end up feeding her cat any of the food from the huge cat food bag she made the extra effort to buy in order to make her mother-in-law feel like things were fairer.
This situation made her feel uneasy, but she later moved on. After this, her husband started giving his mother a little bit of money occasionally so his mother could buy food and litter for her cat.
Last year, she and her husband came to the decision that they were ready to purchase a house and start having children together.
They went above and beyond to save up enough money for a home, knowing in advance that they hoped to have both of their mothers, as well as her younger brother, move in with them. This meant that they needed to find a house with enough bedrooms to accommodate everyone.
“We began searching and going to showings, but every time we would go to a showing, my mother-in-law would always seek out the master bedroom and say, ‘This is my room!’ This left me uneasy, and I told my husband about this, but nothing was ever done about her assumption of getting the master bedroom,” she explained.
Her husband’s mother struggles with digestive issues, so because she has to use the bathroom quite frequently throughout the day, it helps when the bathroom is close by.
She and her husband closed on a home, and she is also currently six months pregnant. After the closing, she has felt a wide range of emotions.
While she expected to feel elated and over the moon about just purchasing their first home, the whole situation has been nerve-racking and sad for her.
Before the move, her mother-in-law was irritated that they were moving so soon. Apparently, her husband’s mother wanted to stay behind in the trailer for several more days so that she had the opportunity to get together with her other son once more before the big move.
This wouldn’t have been a problem for her, but if they had agreed to this, they would have had to pay another month of rent on the trailer, which obviously would have been costly for them since they just bought a house.
It didn’t seem worth it just so that her mother-in-law could visit her son before joining them at their new home.
The house they bought was an hour-long drive away from her mother-in-law’s son’s house, while the trailer was only 25 minutes away from her son’s house.
It was clear that her husband’s mother only wanted to stay in the trailer long enough to see her son because it was closer to his house, so it seemed like the more convenient option.
When she and her husband shot down the idea, her mother-in-law was mad at her. Throughout the entire time they were going through the moving process, her husband’s mother seemed to have a lot of anxiety and frustration about the move.
“We had tension built up in the house already. I’m very sensitive to people around me, so this just made me feel even worse about the whole master bedroom situation. We moved in, and she immediately took her stuff into the master bedroom without even asking if this was okay. Granted, we never said anything during the showing, and I did go along with it as I am a people pleaser,” she shared.
However, once they moved into their home, she discovered that the bedroom she and her husband chose was significantly smaller than the master bedroom.
Plus, her and her husband’s bedroom didn’t have a bathroom attached, while the master bedroom did.
On several occasions, she mentioned her annoyance about this to her husband. In response, he told her that he doesn’t mind their bedroom, claiming that their room is apparently a foot bigger than the master bedroom anyway.
Despite this, her feelings on the matter haven’t changed. Unfortunately, she doesn’t feel comfortable, or like she’s at home in their house.
She acknowledged that their move was recent, so she’s hopeful that she will grow accustomed to the living situation.
But now, she believes that her mother-in-law has exploited their kindness. Plus, she feels like she’s being disregarded by her husband and like he cares more about his mother’s needs than hers.
It’s even worse since she’s pregnant and needs to go to the bathroom each hour, without a bathroom attached to the bedroom, feeling like she’s being pushed aside by her husband.
Upon reflection, she’s not sure if she’s blowing everything out of proportion or if her emotions are related to her pregnancy.
Since the move, she doesn’t enjoy coming home because she doesn’t feel like she has any agency or say in which bedroom she is going to stay in.
She wishes that she mattered most to her husband as opposed to his mother.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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