She Finally Suggested That Her College Roommate Consider Living Alone Next Year After Getting So Fed Up With Their Mental Health Issues, But Now She’s Not Sure If That Was Really Rude
Living peacefully with your first college roommate doesn’t always come naturally. And sometimes, it never happens.
One young woman recently had to suggest to her roommate to seek out a single dorm because of her mental health issues.
She’s 20, and her roommate is 18-years-old. For the last two months, they’ve been living together in a dorm for their first semester of college. They were moved into a very small dorm, and things were initially okay since they got along face-to-face. But unfortunately, as the semester progressed, her roommate started exhibiting strange behavior.
“She’s a very quiet person but is comfortable enough with me to share her history with mental health problems, and early on, I agreed that every Thursday, I’d avoid the dorm for an hour so she could attend a Zoom meeting with her therapist,” she explained.
“About a month in was when her mental health issues started affecting the way she took care of everything.”
For instance, they each have mini fridges in their dorm room, and she began to notice that anytime her roommate opened hers, it released a foul stench. While her roommate was in class, she looked inside her fridge and saw spoiled milk and rotting fruit in it.
When she asked her roommate what was going on, her roommate said she put an apple in there at the beginning of the semester and wanted to see “how long it would take for it to rot.” Although she was disgusted, she politely asked her roommate to throw it out, but her roommate said no.
Her roommate is a generally messy person, too. She leaves garbage and laundry piled up and often ignores messes, making their entire room smell bad. Plus, her sleep schedule is not great, and she tends to sleep from 7:00 p.m. all the way until almost noon the next day.
“[She] makes it really hard for me to be in there since that’s literally the only time I spend in the dorm,” she said.
bongkarn – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I try my best to stay quiet because I understand depression can make you sleep often and for long periods of time, but it’s frustrating to have to make literally no noise and keep lights off the only time I’m in there.”
The final straw occurred a few nights ago after she noticed her roommate started having more Zoom meetings with her therapist and kicking her out of their room with little notice so she could have some privacy.
The other night, her roommate told her right before bed she had a scheduled therapy meeting the next morning at 9:00 a.m. and that she’d need over an hour of privacy. This made her really mad, especially since she had only originally agreed to leave their room for one meeting a week, not several last-minute ones.
She began feeling so fed up with her roommate’s behavior that she decided to talk to her about it and propose a solution.
“I told her I think next year, she should consider paying the extra money to live in a dorm by herself,” she recalled.
“I understand that depression makes you do things you’re not proud of, like neglecting self-care, work, chores, etc., but she has no consideration for my time, my privacy, my space, and my feelings. I told her if she needs this much privacy, she should either seek private study spaces out on the campus or she should get a single dorm.”
Her roommate didn’t seem to care much about what she had to say and mumbled under her breath before going to bed.
Was she rude to suggest her roommate seek out single housing, or is it what’s best for both of them?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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