Her Husband Has Put On Over 30 Pounds Over The Last Three Months, So When He Went To Take A Massive Slice Of Cake On Her Birthday, She Asked If He Really Needed It And He Got Upset
This woman and her husband met when they both spent a lot of time working out at the gym. Throughout their entire relationship, they had an agreement that if either of them noticed changes in the other person’s weight or exercise habits, they would check in with one another.
Both of them agreed to this because they wanted to support each other and make sure that they were aware of any signs that the other person could be having a difficult time with their mental health. This included paying attention to if either of them gained weight.
When they had these discussions, they both assured one another that weight gain wouldn’t make them any less attracted to each other.
The only reason they wanted to have the possibility of these check-ins was to offer support if they were going through emotional issues and needed help.
On a couple of occasions over the last few years, her husband has asked her if she was doing okay because she was indulging in more desserts at that point, and she told him that she was eating more desserts because she was stressed out. She appreciated that he was checking in to see if there was anything she was struggling with.
“My husband and I have had a very stressful year, including both of us losing our jobs, him having an affair, moving out of state when we didn’t want to, and having a baby,” she said.
Over the course of three months, her husband has gained more than 30 pounds. So, she’s been having conversations with him to find out how he was doing.
He told her that he’s been eating more due to stress, and he’s unhappy with how much weight he’s gained.
Since her husband has continuously exercised a lot, his weight gain wasn’t as dramatic as it could have been, considering how much more he was eating.
chandlervid85 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
During these talks, she expressed to her husband that she was still attracted to him regardless of his weight, adding that she was only bringing up the topic because she wanted to offer support if he was having a tough time with his mental health.
In response, her husband told her that he wanted to get a handle on his overeating because it wasn’t making him feel better.
In fact, it was making him feel terrible about himself. Unfortunately, he didn’t take any positive action to cope in healthier ways.
Because of his weight gain, his clothes no longer fit him, and he told her he needed to get new work clothes.
“We literally couldn’t afford it. I was pregnant at the time and only owned one pair of maternity shorts and two maternity shirts because we couldn’t afford anything else,” she explained.
“But he wanted a new wardrobe. He would also have a full plate of dinner and then immediately have seconds of an entire full plate.”
She acknowledged that men usually need to eat more than women do, but her husband is 5’7”, and since he hasn’t been working out at all now, it’s clear that he isn’t physically craving more food; it all seems to be coming from a motivation to cope with the downturn of his mental health.
When she noticed her husband trying to get another plate of food, she reminded him that they don’t have the budget to account for eating second helpings during meals, but she told him that it’s okay for him to do so if he truly is hungry for more food.
Every time she expressed this to her husband, he would get angry, change his mind about eating a second plate of food, and mope.
In response to his frustration, she’s assured him that if he really was hungry, he should eat another helping, but he would just continue moping.
Recently, she was celebrating her birthday. Her husband got a gift card from his job so that he could buy her a birthday cake.
She cut them each a large slice of cake, and her husband eventually stood up to get another slice of cake, which was also as massive as the first.
“I was shocked. I made a comment because I’m so tired of this. I said, ‘Do you REALLY need another slice? Are you really hungry? That piece is huge,'” she shared.
“He put it back, and I immediately felt terrible. I said, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. That’s your choice what you choose to put in your body, and it’s not up to me. I’m not trying to control what you eat.'”
Then, she told her husband that she was only saying any of this because she was worried about his mental health.
She’s noticed that he doesn’t have control and is unable to set limits for himself when it comes to things that can be abused, such as food, alcohol, substances, and impulse purchases.
Plus, she doesn’t think it’s attractive when someone can’t control themselves, clarifying that her worries had absolutely nothing to do with his physical appearance.
For a long time, her husband has spent way too much money buying things he didn’t need. He also isn’t capable of only consuming one drink, and he also struggles to control himself when it comes to substances.
Since this incident, he’s been irritable and has made several rude remarks toward her. In her view, putting in work to improve oneself is attractive, while lacking self-control isn’t.
She cares about her husband, but she’s frustrated that he isn’t trying to work on himself as he continues to gain weight.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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