He Made It Clear That He Wanted Children When He Began Dating His Girlfriend Three Years Ago, But Now She Isn’t Sure If She Wants Kids And Thinks He’s Pressuring Her
This man has been in a relationship for more than three and a half years. At the beginning of their relationship, he and his girlfriend discussed their vision for the future and checked to see where the other stood on marriage and kids to ensure they were compatible.
While neither considered marriage to be one of their priorities, they both said they hoped to have two or three kids someday.
“A couple of months ago, my girlfriend said she doesn’t know if she wanted children anymore,” he said.
She told him that she was concerned about a family limiting the amount of time she could spend on travels and extravagant vacations, adding that she was on the fence and may decide that she does want kids in a few years after all.
In response, he told his girlfriend that having kids was a subject they couldn’t take lightly, and he stressed the importance of being compatible on the issue.
So, he suggested that she take a while to consider her thoughts so that they could have another conversation later when she came to a clearer understanding of what she wanted for her future.
After she thought it over for a couple of months, they decided to have another conversation, and she let him know that she was still undecided on whether or not she wanted to have kids. He told her that he hadn’t changed his mind, and he still wanted to have two or three kids.
Once again, his girlfriend said to him that there was the possibility that she would decide that she wanted to have children, and she wasn’t ruling out the idea of having kids.
“I mentioned that it’s not really a risk I’d want to take and that we really need to be on the same page, or the relationship won’t work. I said if she doesn’t want children, we’re not compatible anymore,” he explained.
Andrey Kiselev – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Then, his girlfriend said that he was trying to persuade her to have children, but he clarified that he wasn’t trying to pressure her in any way.
He assured her that, in his view, it would be unfair for one of them to sacrifice the lifestyle they wanted for the sake of the other person, adding that this could cause them to feel bitter and resent one another.
“She just repeated again that I was wrong for pressuring her to have children, but I again pointed out that that’s not what I’m doing,” he shared.
His girlfriend thought it didn’t make sense for him to end the relationship because she didn’t think she wanted to have kids anymore, and he didn’t think he was wrong because he saw this as an obvious compatibility issue.
What would you do if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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