As we enter a new year, you may be ready to put yourself out there and enter or re-enter the dating world.
For those who have had their fair share of first dates, you’ve likely heard that you shouldn’t put “all your eggs in one basket” when it comes to dating. Ideally, if you’ve got the time and availability for it, you should try going on several dates with different people instead of sticking with and putting all your hopes on one person.
Many people advise looking at dating this way because you’ll often be less disappointed if things don’t work out with one of your dates because you have others lined up. Then, when you feel really strongly for one of those people, or you get more serious with one of them, you can break things off with the rest and stick with them.
This is why some people use the word ‘roster’ in dating. If there are several people you’re dating at once, then they’re on your roster.
Although it’s great to have a dating roster and keep things interesting, it can get a little emotionally exhausting and overwhelming.
So, if you’re about to start dating multiple people and want to have a dating roster, here are some tips for handling it.
Know when it’s time to let someone go
If you have an anxious attachment style or become distraught at the idea of breaking things off with someone, your roster may become too large, and you’ll be more likely to get stressed. One of the most effective parts of having a roster is that when someone you’ve been dating doesn’t treat you well or vibe with you, you end things and ‘kick them off.’
However, if you keep holding onto people you’re dating because, deep down, you’re afraid of losing them or losing their attention, you won’t be dating effectively or coming any bit closer to meeting “the one.” Don’t hold onto people who don’t make you happy.
Don’t be afraid to date outside your type
One of the best ways to live your best life with a dating roster is to fill it with different kinds of people. If you’re dating a roster full of extremely similar people who have the same interests, the same sort of job, or even the same facial features, you’re bound to get a little bored.
Try dating outside your type and go into this experience with an open mind. Look for people with different strengths, and don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Not only will this spice up your dating life, but it will also help you learn which qualities you like best in a person.
Go on more meaningful dates
It’s hard to get to know more about a person if all you do is get drinks with them after work or hang out in the same spot for every date. If you’re dating a roster of people, the goal is to get to know them more personally so you can see which people you connect with most.
Try getting your date out of their shell by going on more adventurous dates. Check out a museum or fun exhibit with them, take some kind of cooking or art class, or do something fun outdoors.
Don’t resort to ghosting
Taking someone off your roster and breaking things off with someone you’ve been on a few dates with is always rough and awkward. While it may be tempting, avoid ghosting your dates at all costs.
I know it may be easier to cut off contact with someone to avoid the awkward “this isn’t working” conversation, but ghosting is really hurtful and can have a very harmful effect on someone. After all, you wouldn’t want to be ghosted out of the blue, would you?
Now, if one of your dates suddenly made you feel unsafe or did something malicious, you can ghost. But if you simply aren’t attracted to them or aren’t into the relationship anymore, be an adult and let them know.
There you have it! Three simple tips for dating a roster of people. Don’t forget to go into every date with confidence and take the time to try and get to know each person as best you can. Who knows? Maybe this will be the right way to find that special someone or simply have some fun.
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