She woke up knowing she was supposed to be putting on a dress today. Not just any dress; the dress. Instead, she’s alone in the house she paid for, wondering how it got to this point.
How someone she spent years loving, someone she stood by through a job loss and second chances, could blow it all up over something so stupid. And the worst part? He made her feel like she was the only adult in the relationship. Again.
This 26-year-old woman has a fiancé the same age as her, whom she’s been with for more than five years so far. Approximately a year into dating her fiancé, he got fired from his job as a police officer.
Apparently, he had been spending too much time on the internet and wasn’t acting proactively, which were the reasons given for his termination.
“He was given the option to quit or be fired, which in my eyes is essentially being fired. I was upset at the time, but figured we could work through it,” she explained.
“He bounced around jobs for about a year until I suggested that he go back to school. He had a previous associate’s degree, so he was quickly able to get a bachelor’s in IT. While going to school, he got a government IT job.”
“He has been at the job for a little over 3 years now. We moved into a house together last October (I purchased it alone, but he moved in with me) and we got engaged in November.”
Today is supposed to have been her wedding day, but she’s no longer going to be walking down the aisle as planned.
Let’s rewind to three weeks ago, when she found out that her fiancé was being placed on administrative leave after he was caught behaving inappropriately while on his company computer.
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Her fiancé claimed he had no clue what exactly he did to get himself in trouble, but then he confessed and gave her the ugly truth.
“He finally told me he has an addiction to inappropriate internet content. I knew he watched it, but never realized it got to the point of an addiction,” she explained.
“He was generating inappropriate AI content on his work computer, and it got flagged, so now he is on administrative leave. He hasn’t officially been fired yet, but I don’t see how he won’t be.”
So, their wedding is canceled, their engagement is called off, and she is no longer with her fiancé at the moment. Her fiancé moved out and back in with his mom and dad while he works through his issues.
He has put himself into therapy to get the help he needs for his addiction, and he is investigating different industries in which he can find a job.
She loves her fiancé with all of her heart, and he is her best friend too, but she doesn’t see how they can find a path forward together.
“After he was fired the first time, I said that it was too stressful and that he needed to make sure he was never fired again. I feel that I deserve someone who works hard and will be committed to having a consistent job for our future,” she continued.
“Am I overreacting for calling off our wedding and saying we need to take a break from our relationship for now?”
If she stayed, this wouldn’t be a marriage; it would be a rescue mission. I think she should let him do the work and figure out who he is without her holding his life together.
If he truly becomes the man she deserves, he’ll find his way back, but she doesn’t owe him by waiting around to see if he’s capable of change.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
