She Told Her Boyfriend Of Nearly Eight Years That He Either Had To Agree To Finally Get Married Or Move Out Of Her House
This 31-year-old woman and her boyfriend, 31, were in a relationship for two years during high school. A few years later, they got back together and have been dating for nearly eight years. They have been through a lot over the years. They moved to the other side of the country and back, and they supported one another through severe health problems.
She and her mom own a home together, but her mom doesn’t live in the house, so she and her boyfriend live in the house and pay $1,100 per month on the mortgage.
Her boyfriend is an auto reconditioner and earns $18 per hour. She clarified that she isn’t in this relationship so that her boyfriend can pay for things for her.
“Every time I bring up marriage, he gaslights me. I tell him it’s the one thing I want from him. I’m not demanding children. I just want to be married. It’s just important to me,” she said.
Apparently, her reasoning doesn’t ever seem good enough or valid enough for her boyfriend.
However, she knows that her boyfriend’s childhood and past relationship experiences shaped how he views marriage. When he was a child, his mother was unfaithful to his father and abandoned them, and he grew up extremely poor.
When she and her boyfriend broke up, he dated another woman. Five years into the relationship, his girlfriend was unfaithful. Then, when she and her boyfriend got back together, her mom had an affair and abandoned her dad.
“This completely destroyed my mental health and family in the process. He was there through all of this. So, he says, ‘Show me an example of a healthy marriage,’ which I think is manipulative. My friends’ husbands’ never made them ‘prove’ the value of marriage before they proposed,” she explained.
She feels disgusting, self-conscious, and awful that she’s been dating her boyfriend for seven and a half years and pleading for him to propose. It’s unfortunate that it seems like the only way she will get engaged to her boyfriend is if she gives him an ultimatum to propose if he wants to be with her; otherwise, she’d end the relationship.
Asier – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He has very few friends and little prospects for renting at a cheaper cost than what he’s paying to live in my home. He also doesn’t have a car and uses mine to get to and from work. All of this has led me to believe he’s only with me for the conveniences,” she shared.
If she broke up with her boyfriend, he would struggle to find somewhere else to live and alternate transportation.
Now, she feels bad that she’d potentially be putting him in that situation by standing up for herself and dumping him if he refused to get engaged.
During their conversations about the issue, her boyfriend said he doesn’t want her to perceive their relationship as a “waste,” but he never clarified whether or not he would consider proposing to her.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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More About:Relationships