Abby Connolly
Sometimes, when a relative struggles with something that pushes them so deep into a funk, you have to practice tough love to help them snap out of it and get their life back on track.
One woman has been diligently taking care of her cousin’s widow and her kids for over a year and recently told her that if she didn’t try going to therapy to get her life together, she’d stop supporting her.
She’s 32 and is from a large, close-knit family. She has a family of four and lives close to her parents, grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousins, and their kids. Since everyone lives near each other, they care for one another as often as possible.
Her 28-year-old cousin Derek lived next door to her with his family in a house she owned. Tragically, Derek passed away in an accident a year and a half ago, leaving behind his wife, Monica, and their four children, who were all under the age of eight.
“It was devastating, and Monica completely shut down,” she said.
“We all understood and started caring for her and the kids. This included me no longer charging her rent, helping prepare meals, taking care of the kids, helping with appointments, school work, shopping, etc. I can’t tell you how many times I was her shoulder to cry on.”
After Derek’s death, Monica allowed her to bring her kids to therapy but didn’t want to go herself, although she was encouraged to because of how hard she was taking Derek’s death.
“As I said, it’s been a year and a half, and she is still completely shut down,” she explained.
“She doesn’t work, she doesn’t cook or clean, and I have been raising the kids along with my two. This isn’t sustainable. The kids miss her [and] they lost their mom the day they lost their dad.”
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