Abby Connolly
Have you ever had to distance yourself from a friend or family member whose habit of oversharing or trauma-dumping put a lot of unnecessary stress on you?
One woman recently had to cancel plans with a new acquaintance after she became too overwhelming to be around. Now, she’s feeling guilty.
Weeks ago, she planned to have brunch with a new acquaintance she used to see herself being friends with. Unfortunately, a lot happened to her since planning the brunch, which made her dread it.
She had an especially horrible week leading up to the brunch, one where everything seemed to be going wrong with her health, job, and relationships. When the day of the brunch rolled around, she suddenly felt like she couldn’t see her acquaintance, as since she met her, she’d discovered something about her that she didn’t think she could handle.
“We’ve hung out a handful of times, and we have a lot in common, but she has a bit of an oversharing problem,” she said.
“My life sucks in the short term because right now I’m like a lightning rod for two years worth of [stuff] that goes wrong to happen all at once. Her life sucks for more long-term family and mental health-related reasons, which she has started going into with ever-increasing levels of morose detail. I’ll be honest; It’s way too much for how little we actually know each other.”
Because of everything she had going on in her life, she began to panic, as she didn’t think she could become close friends with someone whose life was also not in a great place. She figured the best way to approach the situation would be to make a clean break from her acquaintance.
As she predicted, around 6:00 am on the morning of their scheduled brunch, her acquaintance began texting her about how things were falling apart with her living situation and that she was the “only person” she could trust.
“I’m just thinking ahead to the hour-long hardcore trauma dump session that I am about to endure, so I text her back and say, ‘Hey, I’m really sorry for everything you’re going through right now, but I am really in no position to be anyone’s emotional support right now,'” she recalled.
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