She Had A Baby, Then A Breakdown, And Her Husband Was So Horrible To Her, She’s Considering Leaving Him
This 29-year-old woman realizes that her 35-year-old husband has always erred on the side of self-centeredness and lacking empathy, but a few years ago, he got a whole lot worse.
She’s American, and he’s French, and she believes his culture has a lot to do with it. He’s been hyper-critical of her since she met him.
No matter what she was doing from the moment she met him: laundry, grocery shopping, or cooking, her husband would make negative comments about everything.
She simply tried harder to make him happy, and she says it’s normal to do this where they currently live in France, close to the border of Switzerland.
After she got pregnant, she suffered from being sick the entire time, and her husband would get mad at her when she threw up. When she had morning sickness, he had the nerve to say she should try to just hold it all in.
If that sounds bad to you, she thinks it could have been worse, as she watched what all of her friends dealt with while pregnant.
“Almost all my girlfriends were cheated on during their pregnancies and didn’t have much help after,” she explained.
“I mean, some are great…but most aren’t. The whole chivalry thing (complimenting your wife, taking her to a restaurant and not going halfsies, letting her take maternity leave, buying her an engagement ring, and committing to marriage) doesn’t exist here.”
Then, their daughter arrived, and her husband turned horrible. As she was in the hospital with the baby crying, her husband admitted he regretted that they had a baby.
Andrey_Arkusha – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
As things progressed, her husband simply berated her over any and everything. Two months after giving birth, her husband made her go back to work, which she couldn’t understand, as her husband makes a ton of money.
She wound up having a complete mental breakdown and quit her job. Then, her husband forced her to pay for half of their expenses and showed her no sympathy.
“He told me I was on vacation and was basically horrible to me. He criticized everything I did (how I cleaned, what I bought, etc.),” she said.
“I felt like a single mom for a year postpartum…and was honestly crumbling. I’m not blaming him for my mental health, but he never made me feel supported. My daughter’s a toddler now, and he’s done a 180 after many divorce threats and conversations. His worst nightmare is to lose me, and I think he’s scared I’ll run back to the States with her. He’s now nice to me and really doesn’t do much wrong.”
Her husband has grown into a wonderful dad, and he has stepped up to share parenting responsibilities with her.
He’s honestly nothing like the man he was two years ago. He’s kind of amazing right now. However, while her husband is trying his hardest, she is content pushing him far away.
Her husband has been nothing but nice to her, while she’s acting like a total jerk to him. Everyone in their lives realizes she’s being awful, too.
“We are living in the most expensive town in France, and basically, I can’t survive on my own,” she continued.
“I’m still young, and the question now is, do I actually invest in this relationship, or do I pull away? At this point, I’m like halfway out the door. I don’t trust him enough to have another baby, but I’d love to extend my family. I don’t think he meant to be bad; he was just young and didn’t know how to be a husband or father. Still, I’ll never see him the same.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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