She’s Worried That Her Boyfriend Isn’t Over His Ex Since He Still Talks To This Woman A Lot
Starting fresh in a new relationship only works if both people are truly ready to let go of the past, and it’s hard to feel secure if your partner seems to have left a door to an ex open.
For one woman, her boyfriend’s lingering ties to his ex feel like he’s not actually over her. Now, she’s left questioning whether there’s actually enough room for her in his life, or if he’s still holding space for the woman he used to love.
For a couple of months now, this 32-year-old woman has been dating her 44-year-old boyfriend. Mainly, their relationship has been wonderful, but there is something making her extremely worried: her boyfriend’s ex.
Her boyfriend spent three years with his ex. They lived together, along with his ex’s children (none of whom her boyfriend fathered).
“My boyfriend told me that his ex went through a lot of trauma with her ex-boyfriends/fathers of her children. I really feel bad for her based on what he told me, but it feels like she’s taking advantage of his kindness and using excuses to stay in touch,” she explained.
“It makes me feel like my boyfriend is holding space for her and doesn’t have room for someone new. For example, he’s talking about wanting to marry me, but he lets his ex’s daughter still use his YouTube Premium account, and she was on his Amazon video and Netflix accounts until recently.”
“The daughter accidentally bought a movie, so he had to text the ex to ask her about it. Things like that keep happening. Another thing is she texted him to say a piece of mail was sent to their old house.”
She is aware that you might not find so many tiny things alarming, but it happens on such a consistent basis that she feels like there’s a door that is being left open to this woman on purpose.
Oh, and her boyfriend’s ex recently texted him to let him know her daughter misses him, so they are planning a trip to come see him.
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She thought that was bizarre, because her boyfriend does not have current ties to his ex’s kids. He does not text them, talk to them, or spend any time with them.
Her boyfriend has not seen these kids in quite a few years, so that’s why she thinks it’s strange that her boyfriend’s ex wants to take the kids to visit.
“Does it seem like he’s still leaving the door open for her? It makes me feel like there isn’t space for me,” she concluded.
I think that it’s one thing to be kind to an ex, but when that kindness starts looking like an open invitation, it chips away at trust.
She deserves to feel like the only woman in his life, not a replacement standing in the shadow of someone he hasn’t fully let go of.
What advice do you have for her?
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