Her Sister Wants Her To Pay For Her Niece’s College Tuition Since She’s Childfree, But She Doesn’t Want To Sacrifice Her Own Dream
Family pressure can hit hardest when money is involved. For one woman, years of sacrifices and endless saving finally brought her close to owning her own home, a dream she’s poured everything into.
But when her sister demanded she cover her niece’s tuition because she’s not having kids, it sparked a rift that’s left her cut off from the nieces and nephews she adores.
Now she’s questioning if protecting her own future makes her selfish, or if her sister’s demands are the real problem.
This 30-year-old woman is single, as well as childfree, because she prefers it that way, and she’s in the home stretch of being able to afford her own home after spending years saving up her money.
This house will serve as her living space, as well as an area for the business she’s been trying to launch for quite some time.
“I have zero shame in saying it’s become everything to me, late nights poring over plans, skipping nights out, putting aside bonuses, and every extra penny I make,” she explained.
“My sister (36F), married with 5 kids (with one coming on the way), just dropped a bomb when she asked me to cover my youngest niece’s tuition, telling me it’s because ‘you don’t have anyone else to think about,’ and straight up expecting me to pony up to help her out because a baby’s coming.”
“I’ve been sending her money every now and then; the past years when I have some extra to help out and get the kids some new things for school and stuff, but I’ve placed a boundary starting last year and have been sending less.”
She loves her niece and her sister’s other kids. They’re the lights of her life, and they actually are all wonderful children.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
While she thinks they deserve the best of everything, she doesn’t see how that should be on her to make happen; her sister and her husband should shoulder that responsibility.
She informed her sister that she can’t spend her savings on her niece’s college tuition, as she needs it to buy a house.
She added that she’s stretched super thin already money-wise, but perhaps in the future she will be able to be more generous with her cash.
“And that’s when it all went dark. My sister called me selfish. Said I don’t care about family, that I’m prioritizing myself over her kids,” she continued.
Her sister promptly quit talking to her. When her sister finds out that she’s visiting their mom and dad’s house, she stays far away.
She has not seen her nieces or nephews in several months. She tried to talk to her sister, hoping she would feel less emotional about everything, but her sister is not getting back to her.
She knows she has to put her future first and make that priority, not her niece; however, she’s disappointed that not everyone can see that.
“But I didn’t expect to be treated like this or to feel like I’m losing my beloved nephews and nieces because I drew a financial boundary,” she said.
“So…am I the [jerk] for protecting my dreams, even though I love my niece so much?”
I think that setting financial boundaries doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you responsible. She’s not turning her back on her family in this situation; she’s just not allowing their choices to derail the future she’s worked so hard to build.
Love for her nieces and nephews doesn’t mean footing the bill for their upbringing, and if her sister can’t see that, the distance says more about entitlement than it does about her priorities.
You can read the original post below.
More About:Relationships
