His Girlfriend’s Threatening To Move Out Since He Allowed His Pregnant Teen Daughter To Come Live With Them After His Ex-Wife Kicked Her Out
When you’re a parent, the job doesn’t end at 18. Sometimes, that’s exactly when your kids need you most. For one dad, stepping up for his daughter meant giving her a safe place to land after her mom kicked her out for being pregnant.
But his choice to welcome her and the baby into his home has left his long-term girlfriend furious, claiming she never agreed to raise a child.
Now he’s stuck between supporting his daughter through the hardest chapter of her life and keeping the peace in his relationship.
This 40-year-old man has an 18-year-old daughter named Maddy, whom he had with his ex-wife. He and his ex got divorced when Maddy was seven, and according to their custody agreement, he got to have Maddy three weekends every month.
His ex moved to the suburbs to get Maddy into a better school and be closer to her loved ones. As Maddy grew up and got tired of having to drive close to an hour to his place, she requested a different kind of arrangement.
“We talked most days on the phone, and I have been very involved in her life. She’s a great student, graduated with over a 4.0, has a lot of friends, and a (what I thought!!) very nice boyfriend,” he explained.
“She has no idea what she wants to do with her life, and has already decided to defer her scholarship a year to take classes at the community college and work.”
Now, he has a 37-year-old girlfriend named Vera, and Maddy gets along wonderfully with her. A couple of months ago, Vera moved into his house, since her old roommate got married and Vera was unable to pay the rent by herself.
Since he’s been dating Vera for close to two years and wants to propose to her, he let her move in with him. His house is entirely paid off, so he pays for utilities, insurance, and taxes, while Vera covers the water and electric bills.
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Prior to Vera, he didn’t date all that much since he was focused on his career and Maddy, and he loves living with someone now.
Vera doesn’t want any children, and he isn’t interested in having more either, so overall, they’re on the same page.
Anyway, Maddy recently found out that she’s pregnant, and his ex-wife wasted no time kicking her out of the house over it.
Maddy’s boyfriend lives in a college apartment with a few roommates, and he has one year left before he graduates from nursing school.
So, Maddy was homeless after his ex evicted her, and he allowed Maddy to come stay with him. Her due date is in January, and she and her boyfriend are planning on keeping the baby.
Maddy has asked if she can remain living with him when the baby arrives, and he told her that she absolutely can.
While he expressed his disappointment over her being a teen mom, he’s ready to be supportive of her regardless.
“As in, I’m fine babysitting if she has work or class, and she will keep working and going to school, but I’m not babysitting for her to party or hang out with friends,” he added.
“If the boyfriend bails, which I was as kind as I could be, but told her happens even with the nicest boys, she would need to file for child support. And I would give her grace before and after birth, but when she’s recovered, she will go back to doing chores on top of baby ones.”
“I told her and the boyfriend to sleep on it, and they did and came back with actual thoughtful responses, and even a budget and budget goal that I found impressive. So, the tiny bedroom next to Maddy’s that is currently home to a treadmill I never use is going to be a nursery.”
While Vera initially seemed to be sympathetic to Maddy’s situation, as soon as he filled her in on Maddy and the baby permanently staying under his roof, her tune changed.
Vera got upset and said she had no interest in raising a child, as she would have had one by now if that were the case.
Vera insisted that she is not fine with Maddy and the baby living with them, since she did not sign up for that when she moved in.
Vera ordered him to take his offer back, as she feels Maddy is basically an adult who should find her own way if she intends to keep her child.
“I told her I wouldn’t do that, she’ll always be my daughter and needs help. She threatened to move out if I didn’t tell Maddy to get out, then got mad that I told her I understood,” he continued.
“Now she’s avoiding the both of us (but still staying here) or being snippy. I don’t know what she expects me to do, but it’s making the entire house anxious.”
I think that at the end of the day, Vera is his partner, but Maddy will always be his daughter. Babies don’t wait for perfect circumstances, and neither should a parent’s love.
Choosing to stand by his child doesn’t mean he’s asking Vera to become a mom; it means he’s doing what any decent dad should do. If she can’t accept that, then maybe she isn’t the right person to build a future with.
What advice do you have for him?
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