Abby Connolly
When you have a sibling with special needs, you have to find ways to balance your time caring for them and caring for yourself. Plus, you often have to deal with parents who can’t help but give your special needs sibling more attention.
One woman had to tell her mother she’d spend Christmas with her girlfriend’s family instead of going home because she knew most of her parents’ attention would go toward her special needs brother. When her mom recently asked her to come home again, she refused.
She’s 25 and has been moved out of her family home since she was 18. Growing up, she didn’t get much attention from her parents because she had a younger brother with autism named Jason.
“I love him very much,” she said.
“Jason has a lot of challenges. He cannot speak, he has developmental issues, several neurocognitive problems, [and] general health problems. Understandably, taking care of Jason was a pretty difficult task for my parents when I lived with them. It all fell upon my parents’ shoulders when I left home. I barely could make meaningful phone calls and conversations with my parents.”
Whenever she did make an effort to visit home, she could hardly spend any time with her parents since they were so focused on Jason. It got to the point where her visits felt like a waste, and she started going home less and less.
During the holidays, she was invited by her girlfriend Lauren to spend Christmas with her family.
“She is my first serious girlfriend [and] the first person I fell in love with,” she explained.
“My parents haven’t met her in person and know almost nothing about her other than her name. I don’t think they care. We’ve been dating for the past year. My mother got very upset when she found out I wouldn’t be home for Christmas.”
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