This Is How To Tell When Someone Is Trying To Manipulate You Through Love Bombing
Your new love interest sends you a good morning text every day, showers you with presents, delivers flowers to your workplace, takes you on elaborate dates, and fills your ears with nothing but the soothing sounds of praise for everything you do.
Do you think you’ve met the perfect match? It sure seems like it! But beware—Prince Charming may not be as dreamy as you think. In fact, there may be a good chance that he’s in the middle of launching a love-bombing attack.
TikToker Natalie Louise (@wanderlusqt) is explaining how to tell when someone is trying to manipulate you through love bombing. She’s speaking from personal experience and wants to teach you the tactics of a love bomber so you can sniff them out from a mile away, allowing you to escape the situation as soon as possible.
Love bombing is characterized by excessive demonstrations of attention, affection, and admiration. It usually involves copious compliments, grand gestures, such as over-the-top gift giving, and needy/jealous behavior that is disguised as a form of flattery. The goal is to make the recipient feel dependent, therefore keeping them stuck in the relationship.
Love bombing can begin in the early stages of dating, so look out! A person who engages in love bombing won’t know if you’re the perfect target right away, but the first date is when they scope out the situation. They will wine and dine you anyway in order to impress you.
Of course, you won’t trust them immediately because they’re just another stranger, but they will take that as a challenge and work hard to get you under their thumb.
The next stage consists of gift-giving. They will buy you physical presents that you will be head over heels for. “So, on that first date, and maybe some other dates that you might have, they will ask so many questions about you and get to know you, get you to open up enough so that they can understand what they can do to make you happy,” said Natalie.
Once they have gathered information on what your strengths, weaknesses, and ideal partner look like, they will transform themselves to fit your standards, making you believe you’ve found the one. After receiving all the gifts, you will start to trust the person more and more, which brings us to the third stage—quality time.
When you’re with someone all the time, you’ll slowly begin to let your guard down to reveal the true you. “If they are around enough, and you begin to become comfortable, that also means you’re opening up to trust them, be vulnerable,” she said.
.shock – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
After they’ve gained your trust, they will move on to the fourth stage, which is all about hot and cold behavior.
Natalie states that a love bomber may disappear and leave you hanging for long periods of time, or you might notice their personality completely changes. For example, if you text each other every day, you might suddenly be met with silence for no clear reason.
“This is when your normal anxious attachment style would kick in. Or if you’re securely attached and this bugs you, this is when you would grow an anxious attachment style because of their behavior,” she added.
Of course, you’ll be hoping they come back. When they do, you’ll return to a calm state, and everything will be like it was before, with them treating you with the utmost care.
A love bomber will repeat this pattern of behavior until you get addicted to them. It hurts when they leave but feels good when they come back, trapping you in an endless cycle of pain and pleasure.
Sometimes, love bombing is an unconscious behavior. But the individuals who do it deliberately tend to be narcissists, and getting wrapped up with a narcissist is always a recipe for disaster.
So, if you meet someone using the love-bombing technique on you, Natalie recommends running far and fast.
@wanderlusqt Do not use just be aware #wanderlusqt #natalielouise #relationshipcoachnatalielouise #relationshipcoach
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