He Found Out His Wife Was Having An Affair Two Years Ago, But He Never Confronted Her About It Because He Simply Didn’t Care, And Now His Wife Is Furious At Him For Being So Indifferent
This 29-year-old man and his wife, 29, have been married for five years and together for seven years. They don’t have children, and he’s been working remotely since the pandemic started. His wife has been working as a secretary in a big office building.
Unfortunately, his wife has been cheating on him for two years, and he’s known about it since nearly the beginning of the affair. While he acknowledged that their marriage wasn’t perfect before his wife started cheating, he was still shocked by her behavior.
“I was totally complacent in my life and really wasn’t putting much effort into our relationship at all. That doesn’t excuse what she did, and she had her own issues with romance and communication that led us to where we were then. I just want to make it clear that I’m no saint in all of this,” he said.
Leading up to his wife’s cheating, in his view, they acted like roommates who hooked up sometimes. All of his and his wife’s accounts are synced on all of the electronic devices in their home, including the computer he uses for work.
Their email accounts, text messaging, and social media accounts are all synced. Because of this, he was able to read the messages his wife was sending to the person she was having an affair with constantly. A month into his wife’s affair, which started off as an emotional affair, became physical.
“The part that told me this was over, though, was that I felt nothing about this. I was totally indifferent, maybe a little embarrassed at worst. When the physical affair started two years ago, I recognized this marriage was dead and that I should just divorce, mostly because I felt nothing,” he explained.
Eventually, he began researching divorce lawyers and hoped for their divorce to be simple and civil. He noticed that right when the affair started, before it became physical, his wife acted slightly less depressed than usual. The weekend after she started hooking up with her affair partner, his wife walked into his home office and asked if he’d want to have a picnic and go on a hike.
At first, he wondered if he should take this opportunity to tell her he knew she’d been cheating. But he chose not to and wondered if she would tell him the truth on her own and suggest they divorce.
However, they had a fun, wonderful day together, and his wife didn’t mention anything about her affair. He brushed it off and thought they were having one more beautiful day together before their eventual divorce.
Petro – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
The following week, his wife asked him to go on another date, and they slept together afterward. He wasn’t sure if his wife was acting this way because she felt guilty or remorseful about her affair, but it seemed to him like she was finally taking action to work on their marriage.
After the first date, his wife became more emotionally vulnerable. He suddenly felt motivated to work on their marriage, too, and to improve his life in general.
For the first time in a while, he contacted old friends and removed the laundry he had hanging on his gym equipment.
His wife didn’t stop cheating, but they hung out together more often during the first few weeks of her physical affair. He wasn’t bothered by her affair, and their marriage improved.
Later, he chose to scrap the idea of divorce and instead chose to make the most of the life he had in the present. He was still in love with his wife. Two days ago, things went downhill, but before that, their marriage was stable.
They went on dates every other weekend, had a date night every Thursday, and slept together frequently.
Their communication also improved dramatically. He stopped reading the messages between his wife and her affair partner, but he checked them once in a while to see if there were important updates.
“Two days ago, I noticed she was having frequent and long conversations with one of her close friends. I asked my wife about it, and it turns out this friend’s husband got caught having an affair. My wife has been comforting her. This would not have been a big deal, but my wife then started bashing the husband for cheating. I don’t know why I said it, but it came out: ‘You’re one to judge,'” he shared.
His wife was immediately offended by this and acted defensively. She questioned why he would say something like that. In response, he said he was sorry and attempted to change the subject, but she didn’t drop the subject.
Finally, he confessed that he’d known she was cheating and that he’d known about it from the beginning.
His wife pretended she had no idea what he was talking about, which irritated him, so he dove into the specifics of her affair.
After that, his wife was furious, began sobbing, and claimed she didn’t matter to him. He was furious and screamed at her because it was outrageous that she was mad at him when he wasn’t the one cheating.
The fight escalated until they went to different rooms to cool down until they continued the discussion the next day.
The following morning, his wife woke up early and left for work before he woke up. He looked at her messages and discovered that she’d ended the relationship with the man she’d been having an affair with. Her affair partner had been contacting her on several platforms, and she blocked him.
His wife got home from work early, and he walked over to have a conversation, but she stopped him before he could say anything. She questioned how he was able to allow her to have an affair for that long without saying anything.
He responded that it was because it didn’t matter to him. His wife told him he was a jerk, and she locked herself in their bedroom until leaving for work the next morning.
After she got home from work that night, she didn’t say a word to him and once again locked herself in their bedroom.
Upon reflection, he doesn’t understand how she thought he did anything wrong because he wasn’t the one who cheated.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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