He Asked His Wife To Start Contributing To Their Bills After Her Extended Maternity Leave, But She Thinks He’s Just Being Spiteful
This 36-year-old man’s wife, 32, is pregnant with their son. They also have a 2-year-old daughter, and his wife has an 8-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. He and his wife started dating five years ago and have been married for three years.
While their relationship has gone smoothly for the most part, they can be opinionated and headstrong when they aren’t on the same page. However, he never thought that would cause problems for their marriage in the future.
He’s a business owner, and his wife has a part-time job. Even though they’re not wealthy and he makes three-fourths of their money, they aren’t financially struggling. He and his wife have never shared a joint bank account, and he pays the mortgage and utilities.
In addition, he buys groceries and pays for any vehicle-related expenses. Meanwhile, his wife purchases clothes and presents for birthdays, Christmas, and other holidays. She also pays for home repairs and used to chip in for about a fourth of the household expenses.
“When she got pregnant with our 2-year-old, we agreed that she could stop contributing while on her reduced maternity pay. (I think she got full pay for six months, half-pay for the next six, and then took an extra six months of unpaid leave),” he said.
He was comfortable with this plan because his wife felt like she returned to work too soon after giving birth to her oldest daughter, so he wanted her to be comfortable going to work when it felt right. They were financially stable after she stopped chipping in for their bills, so he didn’t ask her to begin chipping in again once she returned to work.
Now that his wife is pregnant with their son, he acknowledged that they must consider moving to a larger home and figuring out their finances. Moving before their 2-year-old daughter begins school in three years would be preferable. When his wife told him she wanted to have the same extended maternity leave structure again, he had no issue with that.
In order to upgrade to a larger home, they need to save money to make a deposit. He acknowledged that their monthly expenses would be higher after the move, so he started thinking about where they could spend less money.
“We go out at least once per week to a restaurant. If nothing else, I think it’s good for the kids to get out in a semi-formal social setting. We probably order delivery twice a week, too,” he explained.
Tijana – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
If they went to a restaurant only once every two weeks and ordered delivery once a week, they could save $250 a month, which is about half the amount of their increased monthly expenses once they move.
When he suggested to his wife that they limit their spending on restaurants and ordering food, adding that he could cook more often (he makes most of the meals for their family), she said it was a good idea.
“There’s now a pattern emerging when I ask my wife and stepdaughter what they’d like for dinner, and they ask for delivery. I say that we’re trying to save money, and then my wife will volunteer to pay for it. I don’t think she realizes she’s defeating the purpose of saving up because it’s coming out of her account rather than mine,” he explained.
His wife and stepdaughter suggested ordering delivery four or five times before he told his wife she had to begin chipping in for their bills again. He told her it was clear she didn’t comprehend that they needed to cut costs, and it would be more beneficial for the family if her money was in his account instead of hers.
“She went into a bit of a huff and ranted to her friends in their WhatsApp chat. She showed me their responses, which suggested I was being financially abusive,” he shared.
When he read that, he started laughing hysterically, which angered his wife. She told him he was being malicious since it wasn’t necessary for her to chip in for their bills. They were financially comfortable while she paid occasional expenses, and he paid the rest.
In his opinion, it would be a better idea if his wife started chipping in again because he was more motivated to save money for their future. Even though his wife pointed out that they were fine without her chipping in, he thought she was wasting money on ordering food.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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