He Wants To End His Engagement Since His Fiancée’s Kids Don’t Like Him
Blending families is never as simple as sharing a roof and hoping love will grow. For him, it’s been years of walking into a home where two kids look at him like an intruder rather than a partner to their mom.
He’s tried therapy, patience, reassurance; nothing has softened the wall they’ve built to protect their late father’s place in their lives.
Now, with his fiancée pushing for a wedding and more kids, he’s staring down a future that could lock him into a lifelong dynamic where resentment is the background noise of every family dinner.
While he loves her, the reality of parenting in a house divided is making him question whether forever is worth the risk.
For the last six years, this 34-year-old man has been with his 33-year-old fiancée. Back when he met his fiancée, she was a widow with two little kids.
It seemed like a fairytale when he started dating his fiancée, and they all went to family therapy in an effort to get her kids to bond with him, but that hasn’t worked.
Honestly, his fiancée’s kids hate him, and he is aware that it’s not necessarily him; it’s that they wouldn’t accept anyone as they think it’s somehow competitive with their late date having another man in their lives.
“But they are so against me that I would not want to get married and have kids with my fiancée and bring them into a divided family,” he explained.
“It has been argued by some of her friends and mine that things might be this way because we’re not married. That the kids would respect me and believe I’m staying if we get married. And I accept there’s a chance of that. But what if we get married and they still hate me, or maybe they hate me more?”
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His fiancée’s kids have told him and their family members that they will never view him as a parent, since that would be taking away their late dad’s place.
He’s told his fiancée’s kids that he’s not trying to steal their dad’s spot, and that he’s interested in any kind of relationship they would like to have with him, but not even that has helped.
There’s nothing he can say or do to change the minds of these kids, and it’s making him worried for the future and what it will look like.
It’s painful to be around these kids, and they treat him like he’s a terrible human being. They are also completely disrespectful, and he’s tired of it.
“My fiancée said she wants to get married and have more kids. That she’s been ready for a while. She even proposed to me,” he said.
“But I have told her I do not feel good about it when her kids are where they’re at with me. She knows I want kids of my own, and she told me we’ll have them. She seems willing to believe her kids will come around to the idea of me someday and that we just need to show them I’m not going anywhere.”
“I think it’s a big risk and one that is harder to break. As it is, I could move out today, and we’re not entangled anymore. Marriage and kids together changes it.”
He has revealed to his fiancée that he’s considering ending their engagement over her kids, and she and her family members are begging him to remain committed to her and just deal with it.
They’re arguing that the children need him in their lives even though they don’t yet see it. His fiancée is trying to guilt-trip him by saying it would be unfair for him to dump her over her kids.
He reminded his fiancée that she’s not the one who has to manage children who hate her guts on a daily basis, so she can’t possibly understand how hard it is on him.
Do you think he’s wrong for wanting to walk away?
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