He Didn’t Tell His Youngest Son That His Oldest Son Died Of Cancer Because His Youngest Had An Affair With And Stole His Oldest’s Wife
Three weeks ago, this 56-year-old man’s oldest son, 33, tragically died from cancer. Before his oldest son’s cancer diagnosis, his younger son, 30, had an affair with his oldest son’s then-wife.
Once his oldest son learned about the affair, he filed for divorce. A year later, his youngest son married his oldest son’s ex-wife.
“My oldest always made it known that he wanted nothing to do with them. He specifically told me that they were unforgiven and that he wouldn’t forgive them just to ease their guilt,” he said.
While his oldest son was battling cancer, his youngest son and his youngest’s wife attempted to have a reconciliation with his oldest son, who refused to hear them out. He also attempted to broach the topic, but whenever he did, his oldest son would get angry, so he eventually gave up.
Once he quit trying to help facilitate a reconciliation, he advised his youngest son and his son’s wife to come to terms with not reconciling with his oldest and move forward.
“When my oldest passed, I did not tell my youngest or his wife to honor his wishes. He always made it clear that they didn’t deserve to mourn him in life and didn’t deserve to mourn him in death, either,” he explained.
A week ago, his youngest son stumbled across his oldest son’s obituary and called him, yelling in rage that he hadn’t informed him of his brother’s death. During the phone call, his son said he’d taken his chance to reconcile with his brother away from him, adding that it was wrong that he didn’t inform him his brother had died.
In response, he said it would have been inconsiderate for him to visit his brother since his brother didn’t want to be around him, even right before he passed away. He then pointed out that it was his youngest’s and his wife’s fault for not having the chance to see his oldest son one last time because of their affair. With that, his son hung up and blocked his phone number.
“My wife told me she feels guilty for not telling him and that we should’ve given him the opportunity to say goodbye to his brother. I told her I would find it disrespectful to do so,” he shared.
contrastwerkstatt – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Since their oldest son explicitly stated that he didn’t want his younger brother around before his passing, he didn’t think it would have been right to go against what his son wanted in his final days.
His wife said that she accepted his perspective, but she’s devastated that their youngest son is angry with them.
In her view, it could have been helpful if, as a family, they attempted to move through the healing process.
He said that their youngest son’s actions were “unforgivable,” and he didn’t think it would have been fair to go against their oldest son’s wishes by letting their youngest see his brother right before his passing.
Their son also blocked his mother’s phone number, which crushed her, and she has been hysterically crying for days.
She told him it was partly his fault for this situation since he didn’t push more for reconciliation between their sons before their oldest passed away. While he’s upset, he stands by his decision to honor their son’s wishes.
He believes their youngest son should have taken responsibility for his wrongdoing rather than projecting blame onto everybody else.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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