Rebecca Meyer
This woman’s brother, Jay, is engaged to his fiancée, Debbie, and the wedding is in July. When Debbie asked her and her sister, Christina, if they’d be bridesmaids, they both said no.
She and Christina didn’t know Debbie well enough, and she was starting a business and leading a construction project, so she had no time to participate in wedding events as a bridesmaid.
In her and Christina’s view, it made more sense for others closer to Debbie to accept the role. About two weeks ago, Debbie reached out to her and Christina and ordered them to throw a bridal shower for her. Since Christina is busy with college, the demand was mostly directed toward her.
“Debbie’s reasoning was that it was the least we could do after we said no to being bridesmaids, and we didn’t have any costs and hadn’t contributed to the wedding yet,” she said.
Christina was incredibly non-confrontational, so she told Christina she would take the initiative to respond to Debbie. She crafted a kind text and told Debbie they wouldn’t plan, host, or go to a bridal shower. Debbie was furious and insinuated that she and Christina may no longer be invited to the wedding.
She was under the assumption that the maid of honor normally plans the bridal shower, so she didn’t understand why Debbie was ordering her and Christina to take on the responsibility. Later, Jay contacted her and Christina and asked if they’d change their minds.
“He even said he would pay for it if we’d just pretend that we did, but I said absolutely not, and Christina can’t plan it all on her own,” she explained.
Eventually, Debbie attempted to persuade Jay to uninvite her and Christina from the wedding or give them “‘consequences'” for not contributing to bridal events and wedding planning. Unfortunately, the situation has started to cause tension within the family.
His mom (she and Jay don’t have the same biological mom) has started complaining about Debbie because she doesn’t like her. The best man and Jay’s father have also been criticizing Debbie’s behavior and scolding Jay for not doing more to stop her.
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