She Feels Guilty About Moving Out Of Her House And Leaving Her Disabled Mom Without A Caregiver, Even Though She Tried To Help Her Mom Find A Replacement For Months

JLabrador - - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Many of us fear the day we may have to move our parents into assisted living homes. It is a heartbreaking process, as you don’t want your parent to think you’re abandoning them, but you also may be in a place where you can’t be their full-time caregiver.

One woman is feeling guilty after committing to moving out of her home, leaving her without a caregiver, even though she told her it would happen months in advance.

She’s 27-years-old and works as an occupational therapy assistant in a nursing facility. She has a five-year-old daughter and a 65-year-old mom.

Two years ago, she got divorced and needed to move in with her mom to raise her daughter, finish college, and get back on her feet.

“My mom has spinal stenosis, which [causes] her to be slowly paralyzed from about the middle back down.,” she explained.

“When I moved in, she [could] still walk to the bathroom but used a wheelchair when going further. I didn’t really agree to become her caregiver but ended up doing more and more because she suddenly started to decline. By the time I was in my last year of college, I was spending around six hours throughout the day helping her transfer to and from the toilet, helping her get dressed, caring for her reoccurring wounds, taking her to appointments, as well as taking on all the housework. Now, she can’t do much more than take a single step.”

At first, she didn’t mind helping her mom, especially since she didn’t have to pay rent to live with her. However, juggling being a caretaker, mom, and student took its toll on her mental health, and she’s ready to move into a new chapter of her life.

Over six months ago, she began telling her mom she needed to start looking for a new caregiver, as she’d start looking for a new job and would need to move for work.

“I took the time to provide information from caregiver agencies, home share programs, senior center discounts, and I helped her sign up for Medicare and found a lawyer that specialized in financial and estate planning to prepare for qualifying for Medicaid without losing the house or her savings,” she said.

JLabrador – – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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