She Went Through IVF, But Now Her Husband Says He No Longer Wants Kids

ASDF - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
ASDF - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

It’s been seven years so far that this 33-year-old woman has been with her 37-year-old husband, and she has always been so happy with him.

She and her husband both put in the hard work to ensure their marriage is in a good place, and she can’t picture spending her life with anyone else.

“From before we even started dating, we talked about having a family, how many kids we wanted, how we envisioned our future and it was something we both agreed on,” she explained.

“We wanted kids. We wanted them after we were married and had saved a bit. When I met my husband I was finishing up med school.”

“When I finished, I pushed to have kids, but he didn’t want us to start being I was starting my first year of residency and he was worried about what the stress would do to me and the baby.”

So, she waited until her first year was completed, and then she and her husband tried to get pregnant without success.

Finally, they chose to go for IVF, and they currently have seven healthy embryos in storage. She does have a genetic disease, so she and her husband patiently waited to make sure none of their embryos have the same thing.

She and her husband waited longer after the testing was over so that she could be done with her residency.

After that was complete and she was working, they implanted the first two embryos, but they failed.

ASDF – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

She mentioned to her husband that she wanted to try another round, but then he told her out of left field that he no longer wishes to have children.

“He said that the world is so messed up that he can’t in good conscience bring another human being into it…so I asked him to bring one in bad conscience and he said no,” she added.

“Then I talked to him about adoption. We don’t need to have our own kids, but there are many kids already alive without loving homes, so why not adopt? He said no.”

She turned to questioning her husband about what they should do with their embryos since they can’t use them, and he stated they can destroy them or donate them for research.

That truly broke her heart into pieces. She pressed her husband to tell her why he changed his mind about having kids, and that’s when he revealed the truth.

Her husband admitted everything is perfect as it is with just the two of them, and he enjoys their life without having kids.

“All our friends have kids, and he sees how they basically have to build their lives and schedules around their kids,” she said.

“They can’t be spontaneous, they don’t have time for each other…etc. last year, we traveled to 13 countries, and half of them were spontaneous. In January alone, we traveled to 4 countries this year, and we still have so many trips planned.”

“My husband is a software engineer, and I’m a cardiologist. We make so much money that we have bought everything we want and invested. If we keep up our work, we can retire by the time he’s 40.”

While she does get where her husband is coming from, and she sees how crazy the lives of their loved ones with kids can be, she’s not changing her mind.

She’s always dreamed of getting to be a mom and experiencing having a baby with her husband. She wants to have her own child to hold in her arms.

She’s not content with simply playing aunt to the kids already in her life. She wants more than this for herself.

“I love my husband so much, but this is breaking my heart,” she continued. “I can’t imagine doing life with my husband but I don’t want to give up on being a mom.”

“I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t change his mind. If I stay I know I’ll be depressed but the thought of leaving someone who is so amazing, makes me feel valued, someone I love so much and has supported me in every way, someone who is my best friend and I want to grow old with…I don’t think I can do it.”

What advice do you have for her?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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