She’s Upset That Her Boyfriend Believes It’s Too Soon To Think About Marriage And Feels Like She’s More Committed To Their Relationship Than He Is

Andreshkova Nastya - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Andreshkova Nastya - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 21-year-old woman and her boyfriend, who’s also 21, have been together for four years now. They first started dating back in high school, and since then, they’ve been through a lot – like graduating, going off to college, and preparing for their future.

So, more recently, she’s begun thinking about marriage – especially because her parents got married while they were young, and everything turned out wonderfully for them.

“I’ve always pictured myself getting married by my mid-twenties, and since my boyfriend and I have been together for so long, I naturally see him as my future husband,” she explained.

“We talk about our future a lot, and I’ve always assumed that marriage was part of the plan.”

Yet, after she decided to broach the topic of marriage with her boyfriend a few days ago, she realized she might’ve been wrong.

It all began when they were just chilling at his apartment, and she casually asked if he’d ever thought about when they might tie the knot. At that point, her boyfriend apparently looked caught off guard. Then, he paused and replied, “Honestly, not really. I think it’s too early to be thinking about that.”

This immediately made her upset, and she tried to press her boyfriend a little to figure out why he felt that way. Eventually, he admitted that while he loves her and sees them staying together for a long time, he doesn’t want to just rush into marriage.

Rather, he believes they are both still way too young to make such a large commitment.

“I couldn’t help but feel hurt. To me, being in a serious relationship means planning for the future, including marriage,” she recalled.

Andreshkova Nastya – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

“I told him that it felt like he wasn’t serious about our relationship if he couldn’t even think about marriage.”

Afterward, her boyfriend tried to reassure her by saying he was definitely committed to her and their relationship’s future. But when it comes to marriage, he just needs more time to feel ready.

She still couldn’t help but become emotional, though, and started tearing up. She also told her boyfriend that it was very important to her that they were working toward the same goals.

“I felt like I’d been assuming we were on the same page, but now I wasn’t so sure. He got quiet and said he understood how I felt but asked for patience,” she explained.

Since then, there has been some awkward tension in their relationship. She’s also trying to understand where her boyfriend is coming from.

“But I can’t help feeling like he’s not as committed as I am. I know we’re young, but I also know what I want, and I’m scared we’re growing in different directions,” she vented.

Nonetheless, she’s not sure if being angry at her boyfriend for not even considering marriage right now is reasonable or not.

Do you agree that she and her boyfriend are still young and shouldn’t rush into marriage? What advice would you give her?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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