Friend Group Fallout Can Be Sudden And Terrifying: Here’s How To Cope With The Changing Dynamic
One of the most devastating things that can happen to a person is losing their best friend. Experiencing a friend break up is just as, if not more, painful than a relationship break up.
However, there may be one thing that some would argue is more painful than both breakups: losing an entire group of friends.
I’m someone who has been extremely lucky for the last 10+ years, as I have an amazing group of girlfriends who have stood by my side as we’ve evolved into adults.
However, over time, I lost a few friends, whether we naturally drifted apart or something irreversible happened. I’ve also met people who have lost entire friend groups. Sometimes, it was because of something in their control, but often, it was because they naturally drifted apart.
If you’re someone who spent most of their adolescent life in a friend group, suddenly not having one can be a drastic and scary change.
If you recently found yourself straying from a friend group you have been in for years or feel that your go-to friend group is beginning to dwindle, here are some tips for coping with it.
Hold onto the friends that stick around
Just because a few people in your friend group have tapped out doesn’t mean everyone has. While it can be scary to no longer hang out with a group of friends, the few people who stayed in touch with you separately did so for a reason.
When your friend group dissolves, you must hang on to the people who want to stay in your life. Don’t close the door on them just because the group you used to hang out in doesn’t get together anymore.
Bostan Natalia – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Remember that everything isn’t meant to stay the same
I remember panicking when I started losing touch with some of the girlfriends I had in middle school and elementary school. We didn’t stop hanging out because we didn’t like each other anymore; we simply grew apart and lost touch.
Then, I was reminded that not everything is meant to stay the same. Sometimes, friend groups are supposed to be in our lives for only a certain period. I think that’s why so many of us had really close friend groups during our childhood days, as we were all experiencing so many of the same things.
During this time, it’s important to remember that while everything can’t stay the same, as time goes on, we will have new people to meet and new adventures to go on with them.
Don’t compare yourself to others
When you lose a group of friends, it can be really easy to compare yourself to other people who are still in a close-knit friend group. Some of the best advice I can give you is not to do that.
One of my favorite helpful quotes is, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we compare ourselves to others and make ourselves all upset, it’s like we’re looking for ways to make ourselves feel bad.
You never know what another friend group is going through, so do yourself a favor and don’t beat yourself up when you see other people in your life hanging out with groups of friends.
Consider that being in a friend group isn’t for you
If you recently lost a friend group or decided to stop hanging out with one, analyze your history with friend groups and the place you are now. Consider that there is the possibility that a friend group might not be for you.
For some reason, social norms have made us think we’re only cool and hip if we have an entire group of friends we see all the time versus a handful of friends we see individually. However, constantly hanging out and managing a group of friends isn’t for everyone. In fact, groups can cause a lot of stress for people.
Now that you’re out of a friend group, see if you prefer occasionally seeing your friends individually versus consistently hanging out with the same group of people. You might discover that’s what you preferred all along.
Seek help if you need it
Again, as if it wasn’t hard enough to lose one friend, losing an entire group can be devastating. If weeks have gone by and you still feel lost and depressed after losing touch with your group of friends, seek help from a trusted loved one or a counselor.
These people can help you make a game plan for entering this new chapter of your life and see if you can find friendship and joy again.
I wish you a lot of luck as you enter this new chapter. Remember, you’re not alone. Hang in there!
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