He Wants To Postpone His Wedding That’s Happening Next Week, But His Fiancée Is Threatening To Leave Him If He Does
This 28-year-old man is supposed to be getting married soon, but there’s trouble in paradise, and his 27-year-old fiancée is the reason.
Now, his fiancée has always been insecure and sensitive, and she struggles with anger issues. During the first eight months of dating her, he was blinded by his love.
He wanted to spend every second of the day with her, but they would get into fights over nothing, and his fiancée would act like she was about to dump him.
“So I stopped arguing and would beg that she wouldn’t leave,” he explained. “I’d get the silent treatment, and she would say she wants space, then get mad if I give her space.”
“We stuck through it. I am always calm (for the most part) when we argue. I never insult her or say mean/cruel things. Let’s just say she’s the opposite.”
“Anyways, those first 8 months, I didn’t care about any of that; I just wanted to love her and have her love me. We got engaged after 6 months (I know that’s very quick, but it doesn’t feel that way at all).”
After he proposed, his fiancée excitedly started planning their wedding. She actually stated she didn’t want to have a job so she could put all of her time and energy into planning, so he supported her while she did that.
His fiancée then said if he didn’t have to lift a finger for the wedding planning process, it would give him the freedom to focus more on his job and his college education.
He did say yes since her expenses weren’t high at all, so he knew he could afford to support the two of them.
Pavlo Melnyk – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
Suddenly, he got fired, and their financial status changed. It took him quite a bit of time to land a new job, but when he wasn’t working, his fiancée wasn’t either, as she was busy planning their big day.
Thankfully, he was able to land a job that is secure, but his wallet definitely took a hit with the two of them being unemployed.
After overcoming that challenge, back in May, he and his fiancée got into two blowout fights. The first fight was over purchasing her family a home back in Cambodia.
“I had stupidly said we could early on in our relationship because I thought it was one of those conversations that was more theoretical and not setting a definitive goal,” he said.
“Well, the argument got to that point that she was yelling at me and saying if I didn’t keep my promise, she would leave me. I was devastated to hear this as I always thought she was my soulmate and would never leave me.”
“I immediately begged her to stay with me and said as long as we can afford it, we can get her family a house.”
A week later, the second fight they got into happened when he asked her to mute herself on a video call since there was a ton of background noise, and he was in the waiting room of a doctor’s office.
He ended up missing the appointment he had with the doctor because his fiancée promptly hung up and refused to answer him.
He walked out to his car, and she started screaming at him that he doesn’t love her and it hurt her feelings he accused her of being loud on the call, which isn’t what even happened. She dumped him, and he pleaded with her while crying to change her mind.
She agreed, but she warned him to take care because if he didn’t treat her the right way, she would cancel the wedding on their wedding day and he would get no notice.
Those fights changed it all for him, and he’s no longer the same. He’s been cold, distant, and disengaged.
He’s tried his best to move on without success, and more arguments have followed those two terrible ones.
“I have stopped begging her to stay; I don’t chase her if she walks away during an argument; I stand up for myself,” he added.
“She tells me she feels guilty and wants to work on these issues, but she always seems dismissive when I try to talk about it, or she gets defensive, or she starts crying.”
“These fights, school, work, and the wedding have been so draining for me. I don’t feel anything. I’m in no way excited about the wedding, which is next week.”
He’s so anxious and depressed that he started therapy three weeks ago, and he’s keeping that a secret from all of his loved ones.
He finally told his fiancée about his therapist yesterday, and she jumped to question him about what he was saying to the therapist and if his therapist told him to dump her.
He didn’t lie; he replied that his therapist made a suggestion to postpone their wedding so they could work to repair their relationship and give him time to feel better.
His therapist has also helped him to set some goals to achieve prior to getting to a place where he feels ready to reschedule the wedding day.
His fiancée didn’t appreciate the truth and got angry with him before saying he betrayed her. In reality, he wasn’t convinced he would make therapy a regular thing, and he felt embarrassed seeking help.
“She was still mad and told me if I postpone the wedding, she will never marry me, and we’ll break up,” he continued.
“I said I want to marry her and love her, but I feel right now we need to fix our relationship, and I don’t want to have to pretend to be happy at the wedding. I told her I’m very unhappy all the time, and I feel empty.”
“She wouldn’t reconsider. Then she was crying because “she made me sick,” and she felt bad. I sort of lost my cool and told her if she really felt bad, she wouldn’t continue doing this stuff. She was crying and begging me, and I felt really bad. So I said I would still marry her.”
“I’ve thought about it a lot, and I really don’t feel right getting married now with the state of our relationship and my current mental health. Do I continue with the wedding and hope it gets better or postpone and risk losing my best friend?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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