She Found Out Her Husband Cheated On Her Back When They Were Dating And Lied About It For 14 Years, So She Wants A Divorce
This woman and her husband have been together ever since they were in high school, and they now have two children. Yet, after being married for 14 years, her husband finally confessed to cheating on her back when they were dating.
Apparently, she’d suspected it in the past, but her husband always spent years denying that he was unfaithful until, finally, he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“He said he never had the courage to tell me the truth before, and after a huge fight we had about something unrelated, he couldn’t push it down anymore and knew he needed to fess up,” she explained.
She was especially hurt because she and her husband had been each other’s firsts for everything, and he made her believe that she was the only woman he’d ever been with.
Still, throughout their marriage, she had a gut feeling that something was off, and it kept eating away at her for years – despite her husband’s reassurances.
“He had always looked me in the eyes, squashed those doubts immediately, and completely denied that it was true anytime I brought it up over the years,” she recalled.
Now, she did find some evidence of other lies prior to his cheating confession – including her husband looking at other women online.
“This was why we were fighting in the first place. Just another cherry on top of all of this, but that alone was not going to ruin our marriage,” she detailed.
The cheating confession, though, was a different story. She found out the truth three months ago now, and she still cannot look at her husband the same way anymore.
carballo – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She can’t help but wonder what else he’s hiding from her since he is obviously a good liar.
“It isn’t so much the actual act of what happened but the fact that he could lie to me so easily and for so long about it,” she admitted.
That’s why her trust has been completely broken, and she feels beyond betrayed. They’ve since been going to both couples therapy and individual therapy, but none of it is helping her. She still feels like an idiot for being so “blind” and not trusting her gut instincts.
She thinks all of their memories have been tainted and as though her entire marriage has been a lie. That’s why she doesn’t think she can be with her husband anymore.
But, since they have children together, she’s not sure if getting a divorce would ruin their kid’s lives. Even so, she doesn’t think she can just let all of the cheating and lies go to just act like nothing is wrong.
She’s tried telling her husband that she cannot get over what he did, either, but he keeps making her feel like she’s in the wrong for wanting to end their marriage.
“He tells me that’s my choice. It’s my choice to break up our family. He makes me feel like this is all my fault, and I’m in the wrong for giving up on us,” she vented.
Sometimes, she actually starts to believe him, too, since the actual cheating took place so long ago.
Nonetheless, for her, the wound is new and fresh. Still, she isn’t sure if wanting a divorce is reasonable or an overreaction.
How would you feel if your spouse lied to you about something like that for so long? Would a divorce “ruin” her children’s lives? What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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