Her Dad Isn’t Coming To Her Wedding Since His Wife Threatened To Divorce Him If He Does
Back when this woman was about 11, her mom and dad got divorced. Her dad cheated on her mom with his accountant, fell in love, and then demanded a divorce.
Her mom did her best to try to save what was left of their relationship, but her dad insisted he would only be happy with ending things.
One morning, she woke up in a brand new apartment, asked her mom where her dad was, and that was how she learned that her parents were no longer together.
She felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath her, and she really struggled with her mental health in the following few years.
From there, her dad had to keep her a secret from his new wife, as his new wife hated when he would spend time with her.
When she turned 14, her mom had to go away for a work trip, and her dad said she could live with her in the meantime.
However, when her dad’s wife found out, she flipped. So she was left home alone for two whole weeks while her grandma came every couple of days to give her food.
She’s now in her 30s and has kept her dad at a distance in her adult years, but over the last five years, he’s called her up frequently to pressure her to get married.
She’s been with her partner for a decade, and she wasn’t really sure why her dad was so invested in her tying the knot.
Roman – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She got engaged a year ago and decided to give her dad another chance. She organized a party so her dad could meet her partner’s family for the first time.
“I never had any hope that he’d actually show up at the greet and meet dinner,” she explained. “But he showed up for [that and] every single one of the events and more.”
He actually bought presents for her in-laws, and her dad has suddenly become a constant in her life since that welcome dinner.
“I was so happy, secretly, and surprised. It was the first time I felt like my dad had shown up for me,” she said.
“He talked about coming to my wedding, and I asked if he’d bring his current wife and kids over. He said no, but you should invite all of us anyway.”
Her dad lives in China, and she’s getting married in Australia. Her dad’s wife has a son who is a senior in high school, so she figured her dad’s wife wanted to stay home with him.
Several months ago, she officially sent out her wedding invitations and invited her dad along with his whole family. She didn’t want to be rude, so that’s why she invited her dad’s wife and kids.
Last week, she went out for dinner with her cousin, and her cousin mentioned her dad’s wife has been fighting with him.
Apparently, her dad’s wife threatened to divorce her dad if he comes to her wedding.
Her mom later found out that her dad’s wife took his passport to ensure he wouldn’t be able to attend.
“At the time, I told both my cousin and my mom that it’s ok,” she added. “I never had any expectation that he would come.”
“And it’s ok; I never planned on having my dad give me away, and I went on light-hearted, joking that I’m not his cow, and I always wanted to walk the aisle myself anyways.”
“I kind of lied to myself saying I knew this would happen and it’s ok. But I’ve been crying in my dreams and started crying in real life as well. I guess I’m grieving because I realized I will never have a father who will show up for me and whom I can rely on.”
She can’t help but think back to when her parents got divorced and how her dad ripped their little family apart in order to be with his new wife.
Her dad’s new wife cheated on her husband to be with her dad and ended her marriage, too. Her dad has consistently picked his new wife and kids over her, and she can’t ignore that anymore.
“And now he’s choosing to skip my wedding to keep his marriage and family together,” she continued.
“I don’t know if I can say he ever had any love for me. I seem to be the thing that he disposes of at the earliest convenience…I’m considering just going with no contact from now on and pretending he died. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Any advice on how to proceed with this or to see this from a different perspective? Also, tell me walking down the aisle by myself is ok please.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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