She Gave Her Best Friend A Reality Check, Pointing Out How Her Timeline For Getting Married, Buying A Home, And Having Kids May Not Be Realistic
Often, people can underestimate just how long it can take to truly establish yourself as an adult and get to where you want to be in the future.
A woman recently had to give her friend a reality check because she didn’t understand how expensive and lengthy the process of getting married, renovating a home, and starting a family is.
She and her best friend are 30, and while they’re both close, they have been in different places for a few years. For instance, she just had a baby and bought a house with her husband, while her friend has only been with her current partner for about a year.
Over the last few months, her friend has been getting excited about her future and told her she and her partner would be in the same situation as her and her husband sooner rather than later.
“[My friend] will even admit that she sometimes lives in a bit of a dream world and likes to have a plan for things and doesn’t deal well with bumps in the road,” she said.
“She and her partner have spoken about kids, and they seem to be on the same page, but she has told me she must have a house and be married before she starts trying for a family. But she also has told me she would only want biological children and does not want to be an old mom.”
She wants all these things for her friend and only wishes her the best, but she worries she’s got rose-colored glasses on and doesn’t realize it could take a lot of time before she gets the future she desires.
The two of them went out for drinks over the weekend, and her friend started mentioning that her partner was down to look for homes with her, which seemed realistic and appropriate. However, her friend said she only wanted to get a fixer-upper, which she thought was too much.
“I have been holding back for a few months because I don’t want to burst her bubble, but given how excited she was, I felt like I had to give her a bit of a reality check,” she recalled.
NDABCREATIVITY – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“I mentioned how expensive her plans were, [and] how long it [takes] to plan a wedding. I said [after] buying a house and [fixing] it up, I doubt her boyfriend will be able to also buy a ring to propose.”
She continued her speech, telling her friend that she may also have issues getting pregnant because it can be a lot harder for women in their 30s than those who are younger.
“I think she’ll be such a great wife and mom, and I explained that maybe if the thing she wants the most is to be a mom, then she should reassess her priorities,” she added.
“I said weddings and house renovations could wait, but motherhood can’t.”
Once she finished her gentle rant, she noticed her friend became very anxious and hadn’t even thought about some of the things she mentioned, like how it may take her a while to have her own kids.
Though she is glad she could get her friend to face the real world, she feels guilty for making her so stressed and thinks she might’ve been a jerk.
Was she wrong to say those things to her friend, or was it a good idea?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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