How To Tell If A Guy Is Micro-Mancing You
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. After growing up watching classic rom-coms like “Say Anything” and “When Harry Met Sally,” we were led to expect grand gestures in relationships. For some lucky couples, that is the norm.
However, it’s become abundantly clear that, in general, dating today just isn’t what it (seemingly) used to be. Sure, you may get flowers on Valentine’s Day or a heartfelt card on your anniversary. But where are the unexpected and exhilarating displays of love anymore?
According to Bumble’s 2025 Dating Trends report, these gestures have been swapped out with other, tinier acts of affection. Known as “micro-mance,” this latest buzzword refers to simple gestures that show your partner you care.
The report was based on a survey of 40,000 Bumble users, and the dating app company used the responses to predict dating trends for this year.
It revealed that 52% of women call themselves “romantics” who adore, well, love. More than one in three women, or 37%, even claimed that lacking romance negatively affected their past dating endeavors.
Yet, 86% of singles admitted that how we show our love has changed in the modern age. Instead of standing outside your partner’s house holding a boombox over your head or racing across the city to profess your love for them, small acts of affection are being used instead.
According to the Bumble report, these include anything from creating a special playlist for your partner to sharing inside jokes or even just sending memes to them on social media.
In my humble opinion, some people may love the idea of micro-mancing, while others might hate it. I think there’s a valid argument for both sides, too.
On the one hand, we all know that after you’ve been in a stable, long-term relationship with someone, the “honeymoon phase” fades. Life also gets busy, and it’s easier to frequently show your love to your partner in tinier ways.
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For instance, you might be getting “micro-manced” if your significant other remembers your go-to coffee order and brings you a latte after a tough workday. Or, if you typically handle mealtime, and you come home to them cooking you dinner on a Friday night.
These gestures, while smaller, are more affordable and accessible, meaning they can take place much more often throughout the course of your relationship.
On the flip side, though, I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who don’t consider sending a meme a show of affection.
And when you’re still at the beginning of a new relationship, these minuscule actions probably aren’t going to sweep anyone off their feet.
Plus, even after you’ve been in a relationship for a while, “micro-mancing” may just start to become (and feel) routine or expected.
I mean, if long-term couples are worried about keeping the “spark” and excitement alive, then aren’t grand gestures actually called for?
I’m not saying that you have to hire a skywriter to be a good partner on Valentine’s Day. But bigger, out-of-the-blue displays can really take your significant other by surprise.
It makes it clear that you’ve truly been thinking about them, planning and putting in effort to make them feel exceptionally special, whether that’s on their birthday or a random Tuesday.
Nevertheless, given how streamlined dating has become in the wake of apps like Bumble, Tinder, and the like, it appears that “micro-mancing” will continue to rise in popularity. And no matter how you feel about the trend, it’s arguably healthiest to embrace a mix of both micro-gestures and the more over-the-top.
If you have a movie night every Saturday with your partner, stocking up on their favorite snacks or even letting them pick the film you watch is an easy way to show that you care.
At the same token, larger occasions, in my opinion, call for a bit more effort, and if you agree, don’t settle for anything less.
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