7 Signs A Divorce Could Be In Your Future
Nobody Gets Married Thinking That Their Relationship Could Come To An End
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. No one ever says “yes” to a proposal, spends months (or even years) planning a wedding, and walks down the aisle thinking that, one day, their marriage is going to end in divorce. Nonetheless, it happens to countless couples all the time.
Choosing to say “I do” is a big decision, but opting to break up for good is arguably a larger one. In addition to the legal complexities and financial implications of divorce, saying goodbye to the person you once thought you’d be with forever is one of the toughest pills out there to swallow.
Here Are 7 Signs A Divorce Could Be In Your Future
Even so, divorce is rarely a rash decision since subtle indicators of dissatisfaction tend to reveal themselves leading up to the split. And sometimes, no matter how painful it may be, parting ways is actually best for preserving your well-being and taking back your happiness.
If you’re currently unsure of the state of your marriage, here are seven signs that a divorce could be in your future.
1. There’s Been A Communication Breakdown
Nothing is more important than communication when it comes to making a relationship work. Couples are never going to completely agree on issues or tackle situations in the same exact way, so transparent discussions are critical for staying on the same page (and keeping the spark alive).
Yet, when there’s a communication breakdown, and partners start living parallel lives instead of involving each other in their thought processes and decision-making, it’s a recipe for disaster. Misunderstandings and confusion might become common, as well as fights that create resentment and emotional distance.
2. Your Efforts Feel Unreciprocated
Marriage requires consistent effort to be successful. Every day, each spouse has to wake up and recommit themselves to the relationship, allowing care and consideration to guide their actions. Yet, your partner might’ve become complacent or comfortable, leaving you feeling as if you’re putting in all the work to keep your marriage afloat.
Now, a brief (and acceptable) effort imbalance can occur due to outside stressors, for instance, things like job loss, mental health struggles, and grief. However, if you’re continually the only person pulling the whole weight of the marriage, it will eventually seem like a lost cause because you’re the only person really “in it.”
3. Criticism Has Replaced Gratitude
When we confront challenges in marriage, it’s natural to become frustrated or even angry. But it’s how we respond that often decides the fate of our relationship.
If you and/or your partner have allowed your discontent to create a negative environment, then criticism and disagreements have probably taken center stage. There are no longer any moments of genuine appreciation or gratitude that help you two “come up for air” and remember why you tied the knot in the first place.
4. Life Goals And Values Have Shifted
Ask any couple who’s been married for 10+ years, and they’ll probably say they aren’t the same people today as they were standing at the altar. That’s because people are supposed to grow and evolve as they age, but sometimes, these changes can drive a wedge in your marriage.
You or your partner might’ve taken on different values over the course of your marriage, whether they be spiritual, moral, or even financial. Not to mention, one or both of you may have new goals that no longer align or make sense side-by-side.
It’s important to recognize when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page and either make compromises to appease each other or split up to avoid forming long-lasting resentment.
5. You Don’t Enjoy Spending Time With Your Spouse
The whole point of marrying someone is to spend the rest of your life with them, right? So, you’re supposed to genuinely enjoy being around them and spending quality time with them.
Regardless, maybe you’ve found yourself withdrawing in your own relationship. Perhaps you’ve changed work shifts to spend less time at home with them, or you regularly go out with friends to avoid date nights and showing affection.
It can be easy to rationalize away such behavior as “putting yourself first,” but sometimes, this is just a denial tactic used so you don’t have to confront the truth: you do not actually like being with your spouse. And you shouldn’t continue feeling like you have to dodge them forever.
6. You’ve Lost Your Individuality
The right relationship will make your life better. It will make you feel more like you (and more encouraged to become a better version of yourself). But when things are rocky or the effort is mismatched, we can sometimes lose ourselves in marriage.
Maybe it feels like your whole life has begun to revolve around making your partner happy. Or, you’ve felt forced to forego your own hobbies and dreams to prevent conflicts at home.
You should be able to hold on to your sense of self and continue discovering who you are, even when married. And if you can’t, it’s a big sign your marriage is no longer serving your best interest.
7. You Are Afraid Of Starting Over
Finally, familiarity brings us comfort as humans, but that doesn’t mean it’s always right to stay in certain situations. Whether you got married five years ago or 20 years ago, you and your spouse have probably built a routine and way of life that you’ve become accustomed to. But you have to ask yourself, are you truly happy or just settling?
If you’ve fantasized about “starting fresh” before, but the fear of moving into a new place, being alone, or eventually dipping your toe back into the dating pool again scared you off, then you have your answer. Don’t settle for your marriage just because it seems “easier” or you’re more “comfortable.”
Instead, listen to your gut, lean on your support system, and consider this transition in your life as a new chapter, not the end.
More About:Advice
