Her Wealthy Boyfriend Feels Used Since She Stopped Helping Pay Their Bills

Portrait of thoughtful caucasian woman sitting on couch on in living room at home, copy space
wavebreak3 - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

For the last six years, this 29-year-old woman has been with her 31-year-old boyfriend. They’ve been there for one another through thick and thin, and they share absolutely everything.

They evenly split all their bills, and this arrangement worked well for them. Her boyfriend brings home $50,000 a year as a mechanic, and she earns $45,000 as a high school teacher. While they could never call themselves rich, they made ends meet.

Back in the pandemic, she paid pretty much all of their bills without hesitating after her boyfriend’s hours at work were reduced.

She then gave him money for a side hustle he came up with, but it went so badly that they nearly had to declare bankruptcy.

“I never made him feel guilty, because that’s what you do when you love someone,” she explained. “A few months ago, everything changed.”

“His estranged uncle passed away and left him $800,000 in cash and a fully paid vacation home in Colorado. I was genuinely thrilled for him. I thought this could be a turning point for both of us.”

“I imagined a future where we could finally breathe a little easier, maybe even start planning for a family or at least escape our cramped apartment.”

Sadly, the money has really driven them apart. As soon as her boyfriend received it, he informed her she wasn’t allowed to have any of it.

She wasn’t looking to freeload, but she thought that her boyfriend wouldn’t be so selfish about the cash, since she was the one who provided for him financially when times were rough.

Portrait of thoughtful caucasian woman sitting on couch on in living room at home, copy space
wavebreak3 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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She expected her boyfriend to be more fair about his inheritance, or at the very least, she thought he would use it to help her out or upgrade their life in some way.

“Instead, he quit his job, decided he was “retired,” and now spends his days gaming and treating himself to luxuries like expensive meal kits and new gadgets, while I’m still working long hours and paying half the bills,” she said.

“He even jokes that he’s “living the dream” while I’m exhausted every day trying to make ends meet. The final straw came last week when my car broke down. The repair bill was $900…more than I could afford without seriously cutting back.”

“I swallowed my pride and asked if he could help, thinking after all we’d been through, it wouldn’t be a big deal. He laughed and said, “You’ve always been independent you got this.”

She was crushed. She invested years in supporting her boyfriend in a financial and emotional sense. He finally has the ability to ease the burdens for both of them, yet he’s being a Scrooge.

She finally said to him that she’s done paying any bills from here on out. Her boyfriend is now saying she’s the selfish one and he feels used.

She’s simply exhausted that she’s struggling while he’s living the good life.

What advice do you have for her?

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