She Finally Told Her Daughter’s Half-Sister They Won’t Be Adopting Her, And Now She’s Acting Out
Three years ago, this woman and her husband adopted their five-year-old daughter, Sofia, who is technically her biological half-sister.
Her dad and his wife unexpectedly passed away, orphaning Sofia and his wife’s nine-year-old daughter, Hanna. Hanna is in the foster care system and resides in a group home that properly cares for her.
She has Sofia visit with Hanna every few weeks, and Sofia knows that she is adopted. Sofia and Hanna’s maternal grandma, Lori, usually is there when the girls see one another.
“Lori has been combative with us since we met her, because she thought it was wrong for us not to adopt Hanna as well as Sofia, even though she is well aware of why it wasn’t the right choice for our family,” she explained.
“All this to say, when I say I think I know where Hanna has been getting certain ideas, I am pretty certain. Hanna has always made little comments about living with us one day.”
“She’s used to say “one day when me and Sofia live together” or reference the girls sharing a room, or talk about pets she wants when she can move “home.” We’ve always tried to play this off so as not to upset her, and I really figured she would grow out of it.”
Hanna’s social worker even believed that Hanna would eventually quit talking about it, but that has yet to happen.
In fact, Hanna keeps speaking about how she’s being on her best behavior so that she can live with them sometime soon.
Not only that, but Hanna excessively demonstrates to them during visits her various accomplishments. She’s gone so far as to try to disparage Sofia’s achievements and put her down in an effort to make herself look better.
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It’s heartbreaking for her to witness, and she’s spoken up about it, but nobody listens to her. Everyone does want Hanna to be a good girl, and Lori is the worst at playing into it all.
“The social worker just says it’s good that Hanna is making strides with her behavior,” she added. “This just seems cruel and manipulative, like they’re letting this carrot dangle in front of this kid so that they can benefit without thinking what this will do to her.”
“So a month ago we were out and Hanna once again said brought up that she wants a horse if she’s come to live with us. Lori smiled and said that would be really nice but she will have to be a good girl to get a horse, and I just looked at her like [what on earth].”
“I told Hanna that she wouldn’t be able to live with us, because she was very loved at the home where she is and they take really good care of her and that we couldn’t do enough of a good job at that.”
Hanna didn’t exactly grasp what she was telling her, though she did opt to not give them hugs before they left, which she usually does.
Throughout their last two visits with Hanna, she was sulky and silent and showed no interest in interacting with them.
Lori then told her Hanna’s been acting out at school and at home, and Lori is trying to pin it all on her for telling Hanna she will not be adopting her.
However, she felt Hanna was ready to be told the truth, as it wasn’t fair for Hanna to wait around, expecting to one day go home with them all.
But I’m also worried that I’ve damaged things because if Hanna stops wanting to see Sofia, I’ll have ruined their relationship,” she continued.
“And I’m not a trained professional, I maybe didn’t say it in the right way. Her social worker didn’t think it was a problem so maybe I should have left it. I feel crappy about it, even though I don’t think I was wrong in my intentions.”
Do you think she was wrong to make it clear to Hanna that they will not be adopting her?
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