5 Signs Your Mom Or Dad Is A Narcissist
Being A Good Parent Requires Compassion, But Not Everybody Is Capable Of That
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Good parenting requires compassion, empathy, and the willingness to put your children’s needs before your own.
These traits are ones you wouldn’t usually find in a narcissist. Many narcissistic traits include entitlement, superiority, and grandiosity.
Here Are 5 Signs Your Mom Or Dad Is A Narcissist
So, how do you know when a parent may be narcissistic? Narcissistic parents have difficulty with letting their kids become their own people.
They perceive the independence of their children as a threat and place unrealistic expectations upon them. If you’re wondering whether your mom or dad is a narcissist, here are five telltale signs.
1. Puts You Down Constantly
A narcissistic parent might make an effort to bring you down by mocking, criticizing, and gaslighting so that they can remain superior and continue exerting control over you.
They might make unfavorable comparisons, invalidate your positive mood, and reject your accomplishments. By lowering their child’s confidence, a narcissistic parent gets to boost their own self-worth.
2. Has Poor Boundaries
Narcissistic parents are always crossing their children’s boundaries. They feel they can interrupt their child and ask them to do whatever they want to do.
They may also make comments about their child’s weight, appearance, or other attributes even when the child has asked them to stop.
3. Lacks Empathy
One of the most common signs of a narcissistic parent is their lack of empathy. They are unable to be mindful of their child’s thoughts and feelings. Only their own thoughts and feelings matter. They may be most concerned about how your feelings and behavior affect them.
Over time, children might respond by standing up for themselves, fleeing to put distance between themselves and the parent(s), or putting on a false persona to try to please the parent(s) and end up adopting traits of narcissism themselves.
4. Shifts Blame Onto You
Narcissists feel ashamed when they make mistakes, so they will avoid taking accountability and pass the torch to their children instead. They can be particularly cruel when they feel criticized and will lash out in ways that sting.
Some common refrains from narcissistic parents include stuff like: “I’ve done everything for you, and you’re so ungrateful,” or “It’s your fault that I’m not happy.” Over time, children of narcissistic parents begin to believe these statements and will blame themselves for making people feel bad.
5. Demonstrates Jealousy And Possessiveness
A narcissistic mother or father’s goal is for their child to stay under their thumb forever. So, when their child starts to grow and mature and become their own person, narcissistic parents might show extreme jealousy of this budding independence.
Any deviation from what the parent wants is taken as a personal attack, from making new friends not approved by the parent to choosing a different career path. Furthermore, the entrance of a romantic partner in the adult child’s life can be seen as a huge threat. Narcissistic parents may respond with criticism and competition.
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