7 Signs Your Partner Is Playing You
Nobody Wants To End Up With Someone Who Strings Them Along
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. While certain people truly are fine with “keeping things casual,” most singles out there are searching for a real relationship.
So, it can be extremely disheartening to meet someone you like and believe you two hit it off, only to realize they were stringing you along.
Sadly, this can be due to a variety of reasons, too. Maybe your partner is terrified of settling down, so they refuse to commit to just one person. Or, perhaps, they’re a serial dater who likes having multiple people to call whenever it’s convenient for them.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Playing You
Either way, you wind up being manipulated and kept around to serve their needs without ever getting what you truly want.
And if you think that you’re being played by your partner, you could be right. Here are seven telltale signs to confirm your suspicions.
1. Your Partner Is Hot And Cold
When you first met your partner, they might’ve swept you off your feet with their charm and compliments. But then, once they got you in their back pocket, the interest waned, and now, they’re frequently hot and cold.
They may text you constantly one day before ghosting you the next, leaving you questioning if they ever truly cared about you at all. Someone who genuinely wants a future with you won’t just vanish; instead, your partner’s absence suggests they’re using you to stroke their ego or fill a void.
2. Labels Aren’t Up For Discussion
After going out with someone for a decent amount of time, it’s natural to want to define your relationship and become exclusive. Yet, your partner probably avoids this at all costs.
Maybe they say they really like or even love you, but want to “take things slow” or “aren’t ready yet.” Or, they flat-out tell you that they don’t want to be in a committed relationship.
Take what your partner’s saying at face value, and if you aren’t okay with the current status of your relationship, move on. It’s not worth wasting your time or betting on the possibility that they “might” change their mind.
3. You Haven’t Been Introduced To Their Friends Or Family
A person who’s actually excited about you as a significant other will want you to meet their friends and family. This action shows that you’re important enough to be integrated into their life.
Your partner, on the other hand, may just keep you separate, only hanging out with you alone and declining to invite you to any larger social gatherings. This is a major red flag that they aren’t really invested in a serious relationship with you.
4. Your Relationship Never Goes Past The Surface Level
As you continue dating someone, conversations should gradually progress into more emotional territory. But maybe you’ve opened up, and your partner still has yet to reveal any of their feelings.
It’s true that plenty of people struggle to be vulnerable, and it can take time for them to feel safe opening up. Nonetheless, if your partner doesn’t even seem to be making an effort and avoids all opportunities to let you in, it sends a message that they want to maintain some emotional distance.
In other words, your partner is keeping you close enough to get what they want but far enough away that further commitments and expectations are off the table.
5. You Never Feel Like A Priority
Another clear sign that someone is playing you? If you’re never their priority. They may want you to answer their late-night texts or show up for a last-minute date at the drop of a hat. Then, when you actually need someone to lean on, they’re unavailable.
When convenience trumps care, you are being played. A partner who values and respects you won’t act like a “fair-weather friend.” They’ll stick around unconditionally.
6. Your Partner Seems Secretive
Similar to being emotionally unavailable, your partner might put a lot of effort into keeping details about their day-to-day life concealed from you. Are they vague about their plans? Do they brush off questions about their schedule or decline to tell you what they’re really up to?
It could mean they’re seeing other people and don’t want you to know. Or, your partner may just want to maintain distance between you and their personal life because they don’t see the relationship going anywhere.
7. You’re Constantly Confused About The State Of Your Relationship
Lastly, even though all relationships can be confusing, they shouldn’t leave you continually guessing where you and your partner stand. They might make empty promises one day before flaking on you the next and claim they’re “all in” without using any action to back it up.
Don’t allow this dynamic to go on for too long. You might be getting manipulated, and it’s usually best to trust your instincts if you have a bad gut feeling. Remember that someone who actually loves you won’t make you wonder about their feelings 24/7.
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