7 Signs You Were Overly Criticized As A Kid
Growing Up With Critical Parents Can Wreck Your Self-Esteem
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Growing up under the microscope of parents who constantly find fault with every move you make can do a number on your self-esteem.
Whether it was about your bad posture, your choice of friends, or a school project you worked hard on, overly critical parents have a way of causing their children long-lasting emotional damage.
Here Are 7 Signs You Were Overly Criticized As a Child
They hold their kids up to impossible standards and have made it known that mistakes are not allowed. Now, these kids have turned into perfectionists with trust issues who second-guess everything. Here are seven signs that you were overly criticized as a child.
1. You’re A People Pleaser
Children who were constantly criticized automatically trained themselves to avoid criticism, resulting in people pleasers.
People pleasers will bend over backward to ensure that no one is upset with them in any way. As a people pleaser, you probably take care of your own needs last and have a hard time establishing boundaries.
2. You’re Scared Of Failure
If you were overly criticized as a child, chances are that you developed a fear of making mistakes. Now, you’re too scared to take risks or face challenges because you don’t want to fail.
Parents who control, judge, and worry about their children too much can lead to an anxious and depressed child who won’t try new things.
3. You Always Feel Shame
Another sign that you were overly criticized as a child is if you feel shame all the time. It’s difficult to feel good about yourself because you were punished for not meeting your parents’ standards.
This kind of trauma often follows you into adulthood. Children should feel seen and supported, so they don’t feel ashamed of everything about themselves.
4. You Tend to Over-Apologize
Apologizing repeatedly for minor errors is an indicator that relentless criticism as a child is still affecting you in adulthood.
You don’t believe you have much worth and should not take up too much space, so you say you’re sorry before anyone can accuse you of anything. When you make a mistake, it feels world-ending, which causes you to apologize even more.
5. You Feel Like An Imposter
Because your parents emphasized your failures while belittling your accomplishments, you believe that you don’t deserve success or good things in life.
Receiving praise makes you feel like an impostor and that you tricked people into thinking you’re worthy. Sooner or later, people will find out who you truly are. It takes time to break free from impostor syndrome. You are not faking it; you are deserving of success.
6. You Blame Yourself When Things Go Wrong
When things go wrong, you point the finger at yourself. Your parents’ voice became the voice inside your head, so now, you always feel like you’re at fault.
You are your own worst critic, assigning blame to yourself when the situation doesn’t call for it. Practice speaking kindly and gently to yourself and give yourself the love and care you did not receive as a child.
7. You’re Not Assertive
An overly criticized child usually becomes an unassertive adult who struggles to stand up for themselves in workplaces and in relationships.
If this is you, you’re likely afraid of voicing your opinions because they were always met with harsh criticism in the past. You’re also scared to confront anyone who holds authority.
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