Her Fiancé Gave His Mom Her Heirloom Engagement Ring Since He’s Afraid She’s Going To Lose It
An engagement ring is a promise. It symbolizes trust, commitment, and the beginning of a shared future. You don’t give an engagement ring to someone and then quietly take it back like it’s a borrowed item.
Four months ago, this 28-year-old woman got engaged to her 31-year-old fiancé. When he got down on one knee, he presented her with an heirloom ring that was his grandma’s.
“…I genuinely loved it, not just because of the sentimental value, but because it felt like it symbolized something real between us,” she explained.
She takes her engagement ring off when she hops in the shower, and a week ago, it went missing from the place she normally keeps it.
She questioned her fiancé about whether he had seen her ring, and he mentioned he had given it to his mom to keep it safe, as he was concerned about her losing the ring.
He didn’t ask her first if this was acceptable; he just snatched up the ring and dropped it off with his mom behind her back.
She figured he was pranking her at first, but he was serious. She then asked why he had failed to tell her about his plan first, and he simply replied that she’s not exactly careful with her belongings.
He reiterated that the ring is still hers, but it will be much safer at his mom’s house instead of on her hand.
“I got quiet. Hurt, honestly. He saw my reaction and told me I was being dramatic, that it’s just a ring, and I should be grateful he trusted me enough to propose at all,” she added.
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“Now I feel two things: 1) deeply disrespected, and 2) like he gave his mom part-ownership of our engagement without asking. I told him I want the ring back, and he said, ‘Why do you care so much about the ring instead of our future?'”
“Maybe I am overreacting. But it feels like a trust issue wrapped in a control issue. His mom hasn’t even liked me that much and already acts like she has a say in our relationship.”
The ring that once felt like a gesture of love feels more like a reminder that her voice and her place in this relationship might not be as secure as she thought.
What advice do you have for her?
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